Why Asking What You Need to Do to Attract People into Your Business is the Very Reason It’s Not Happening

INTRO: After generating over a million dollars in sales and selling one of her businesses with a single email, your host, Kathryn Thompson, takes an unconventional approach to marketing and sales. So if you're ready to tap into a more powerful way to be seen, heard, and a sought after entrepreneur in your industry without having to spend endless hours marketing your business and chasing clients, you're in the right place. Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast is here to help you ditch the cookie cutter, one size fits all approach to marketing and use your unique energy to effortlessly attract the most aligned clients. When you do this, you can spend less time marketing your business and more time doing your soul work and enjoying the richness of your life. Welcome to Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast. And here's your host, Kathryn Thompson.

Kathryn Thompson: Hey, hey, super stoked that you're tuning in this week's episode, and I cannot wait to dive into today's [00:01:00] topic because I want to share with you something that's been coming up in my world recently with potential clients, conversations I've been having in the DMs, as well as conversations I have with clients quite regularly, and that has to do with the overwhelm that I think a lot of people feel with what steps do I need to take in order to create the results that I want.

And I want to sort of offer you a reframe when it comes to this, because I think that the overwhelm is coming from the overly thinking about what needs to happen in order to, like I said, create the results. Now, I'm not saying that you don't want a strategy, or you don't want a plan, or But, what I am saying is, is that when we're so attached to the plan and the steps that need to happen, that naturally will create overwhelm, especially if the vision that you have is this grandiose vision, right?

You have all these ideas flowing through you and you want to have an offer that features this thing [00:02:00] and then you might want to bring products in and you want to do retreats or whatever it might be. You've got this big vision that's being placed on your heart. And then you become overwhelmed with, okay, but like, how do I actually actualize that vision?

And I want to offer this reframe for you, because I feel like this is where a lot of people get stuck with even bringing the vision to life, because they're so consumed with, What do I need to do in order to create the results? But more importantly, what's underneath that? What are the right steps I need to take?

And as you know, if you've been in my world for a while now, I am not about the cookie cutter. And I was having a conversation with somebody recently and I could see this pattern playing out. I could map out an entire strategy for somebody, literally paint the picture for them, create a whole. Offer suite and how everything sort of fits together.

And they can still [00:03:00] look at me and say, but I just don't know how to make it happen. Like, I'm still confused with, so what next? What now? And I understand that question and I understand. needing to sort of know what's the next best step for me to take. But the problem is, is that we then go further down that rabbit hole with, well, what platform should I be on?

And how do I talk to the right people? And what content do I need to put out there? And how many posts do I need to put out there? And do I need to do a masterclass? And if I do a masterclass, is it four masterclasses? Is it two masterclasses? Is it three? And what I want to share with you is, is that it doesn't matter.

It absolutely doesn't matter. And so, it's up to you and your responsibility to quiet that mind when it wants to go down that rabbit hole. It does not matter, and I can't stress this enough, I'm not saying we don't want a strategy, I'm not saying we don't want a plan, we absolutely do. [00:04:00] But, it doesn't matter if there's three masterclasses in videos, it doesn't matter if you do a quiz, it doesn't matter if you speak on stage, it doesn't matter.

What matters is, is that you're connected to the message that you're putting out there. that you're excited about sharing that message with the world. that you're wanting to come from a place of service, right? You're not this robot sort of just taking action and ticking things off a to do list, because everybody feels that.

When things are devoid of emotion, when things are devoid of feeling, there is no connection. And that's where I think a lot of people are getting hung up. They're getting hung up in the doing rather than in the being. And by that, I mean, if you're asking yourself, what do I need to do in order to create the results I want?

You're already asking the wrong question. How do I need to be is the first question you need to be asking yourself. How do I need to be? How do I need to show up? [00:05:00] And to me, it's led with that excitement. It's the thing that's going to bring aliveness in your body. What brings you alive? If you could talk about something every day, all day, what would that be?

Or if you could talk about a variety of things, I think that's the other problem. Is we feel like we have to pick one thing that we have to talk about for all of eternity. That if we create an offer, that's the thing we have to sell forever. Or it has to be in this iteration of what it is that we're selling.

It can't change. And yet everything that we do in life and business is constantly changing. We are constantly evolving. And I get not wanting to put in a bunch of effort and not see results. I absolutely get that. But this is a reframe that I'm offering you. That if you got pure joy about showing up and sharing your message with the world.

With no attachment to the results, [00:06:00] I guarantee you it would feel less effort than if you're just doing it to get sales. That, to me, is the problem. We're putting in so much effort in things we don't want to do because we think we have to do them in order to get it right. And when that doesn't work, then we're burnt out because we're like, man, I spent so much time posting five, six days a week and It didn't work.

Then why are you doing it? Well, because a guru down the street told me that I needed to. Well, let's, how about we stop hanging our hats on the guru's down the street's advice and let's follow our own for a minute. You are giving too much responsibility to everybody else to tell you what to do and how to do it.

And that's me just speaking absolute truth to this because I see it so frequently when our gaze is outward, and we're looking at what everybody else is doing, and we're comparing our success with somebody else's, or we're [00:07:00] comparing what we're doing with somebody else's, and we don't give ourselves a enough time to even see something work, let alone doing it in a way that excites the shit out of us.

If we're creating from a place of just doing to get a result, we've already killed that creativity, we've already killed the connection, because that transmission that you're putting out into the world isn't something that even excites you in the first place. And I'm not saying again that we don't need a strategy and plan, we absolutely do.

But if you're hemming and hawing about what platform to be on, am I on Instagram or TikTok or LinkedIn or Facebook or which one's better, I need to be on this one because this one's thriving, like again, it doesn't matter. These are all irrelevant questions that you need to be asking yourself. Questions that you need to be asking yourself if you want to create [00:08:00] sustainable success in your business and do it in a way that actually feels good is, What message do I want to put out into the world?

What am I not saying out of fear of being judged? What am I diluting in my message out of fear of people calling me out or trolls coming out of the woodworks or me ruffling somebody's feathers. And why am I not sharing that with the world? And if it's not one singular message, that's okay. You can share a variety of different messages.

It's the passion of the message that you're sharing that's going to create the connection and emotion in somebody else because they're going to feel it. So that's number one, is that where in your business right now are you putting out a message to the world that doesn't inspire you? That you only have energy for here and there, [00:09:00] it's very sporadic, you don't always have the energy to show up and to talk about the thing you want to talk about.

And maybe it's scary as hell because you've built a successful business around a message that just isn't you. And you're wondering, well, if I start coming out now and talking about the things I really want to talk about, is that going to alienate somebody in my world? And that's scary, right? Will I start losing more followers or will people start to unsubscribe or will the clients that I'm currently serving disappear?

These are all valid fears. Fear is valid, but your relationship to fear is what matters. Are you capable of moving through it rather than letting it hold you up? Because if you continually create from the state that you're creating and it's not working, you're just going to get keep getting the same result.

It just might show up slightly differently from time to time. [00:10:00] If you want a different result, you have to approach it in a different way. And if posting five days a week isn't working, or sending multiple emails, or showing up on stories, or running a challenge, or whatever it is that you're doing isn't working, then you need a different perspective.

To look at it in a different way in order to shift what it is that you want. And that starts with how you're showing up and who you be. It's not in the actions you're taking. The actions you take should be informed by what it is you want to create in the first place and how you want to create it. And this is one of the first things that I walk people through when they join Spellbound, because the whole notion is, is I don't want you replicating what I do.

I don't want you replicating the system that I've created within my business, because it's unique to me, and it works for me, and it works for the lifestyle that I want. It might not work for the lifestyle somebody else wants [00:11:00] to create, and in order to create that sustainability and to feel really good in your business, You've got to create it in your own way, and that first and foremost starts with you asking yourself the right questions, because It doesn't matter who you ask, and you've probably tried this, you might ask me and I might, you know, provide you with my perspective on it.

And then you might ask somebody else and they provide you with their perspective on it. And then you might ask somebody else and they provide their perspective on it, which is why we run loops in our brain. We're like, Oh, this guru said to do this, and this guru said to do this, and this guru said to do this.

And then we're trying to piece together all of the advice. And then we end up so freaking overwhelmed because we don't know which way is up anymore. And then we also don't know what we feel called to do and how we feel called to show up. And if these questions are [00:12:00] stumping you and you're like, but I don't know, then that's the work.

It's not about me telling you or anybody else telling you the answer to this. You have to sit with yourself in your own silence, in your own meditation, your own practice, whatever that might be, and do that self discovery for yourself. That's up to you. That's nobody else's responsibility to decide what is in alignment to you, what is authentic to you, what your message is.

And that's a massive misconception that I see in the online world, in the marketing world. It's not the coaches or the consultants role to be responsible for your message at all. And when we can take back the responsibility and go, right, I get to choose what message I want to put out there. And I get to choose it because I know better than anybody else on this [00:13:00] planet, what comes alive for me in my body.

And it might seem very counterintuitive. That's the other thing. If we get these nudges to, to talk about something in a certain way, or we see something out there and we have a different perspective about it, we want to share it, but we don't want to sound too polarizing or shameful or whatever, we get so caught up in our brain that then we hold back on saying what we want to say.

And it starts with that message. It starts with the message that you're here to share, and that message gets to evolve with you as you evolve, and that's absolutely okay. As you learn, as you grow, but it starts there, and that's who you be. That's when things become authentic, because it's like a frequency, a transmission that's coming through you that You can't fake it, right?

It's just you speaking your truth in a lot of ways, and then how you want to show up in the world, you get to choose. TikTok works, Instagram works, face to [00:14:00] face, in person works. You know, I just had a conversation with a woman recently, and I just said, I think we get so pigeonholed with Creating success in our business and attracting clients into our world.

Clients are everywhere, y'all. They're everywhere. My husband was having a conversation with our neighbor recently, and he was asking what I do, uh, and what work I do, and Craig was sharing with him, and he's like, Oh, I might need her. You know, I was at lawn bowling recently and somebody was asking what I do.

And they said, Oh, will you be able to help me? Cause I have a local business. Like I'm, I'm telling you that there are clients everywhere. We just have to be open to have conversation with people. We have to be open to receiving it from all places and not cut ourselves off from receiving it. right? Setting the intention that we want to attract clients into our world.

And of course you need to take action and there needs to be a bit of a presence somewhere, right? You have to have some sort of presence. But again, you don't have [00:15:00] to be showing up on social 24 7 if that exhausts the shit out of you. You don't have to have a website. You don't have to, you know, do anything because anything is possible and you get to create the business the way that you want to create it.

The problem is, is that we get so hung up on. What is the right step? If I'm going to put the effort in, I want it to pay off. And that already is going to set you up to fail. Because it's going to, your ego is going to get in the way, and it's going to tell you that you need to listen to somebody else telling you what that step is.

Because you gotta get it right. And if you don't get it right, then it's not worth it. But is that actually true? Is that actually true? If you're doing your soul's work and you're showing up in a way that feels very joyful and easeful for you, if you're communicating in a way that feels easeful and joyful, if you're sharing a message that is truly authentic to who you are, you're not [00:16:00] diluting, you're not shrinking, you're not trying to fit it into some framework or some box that, you know, Again, you think you need to have an order for it to work.

If you're putting out offers that you truly love and you see the value in it and you're so convicted in the work, because I can't tell you how many times I've talked to somebody who's like, I think I'm just going to put out this offer because it's the one I can get out there the easiest. Or I'm going to put this offer out because I think I need this one to build trust.

And I said, but what one do you actually want to sell? Well, this is the one I want to sell. So then why aren't we selling it? Because what's underneath that? Is it the fear of failure? Is it the fear it's not going to work? If I can sit and just meddle and work on the offer behind the scenes and I'm actually not putting myself out there?

So these are questions that you need to start asking yourself in your business, especially if you feel like things aren't working or things are working. but you feel maybe some burnt out or exhausted, [00:17:00] or you feel like you've evolved and changed and now you want to try something different, then I would ask yourself those questions.

What are you doing in your business? Are the offers that you're currently selling the ones you actually want to sell? And if not, then why? And then the other question you need to ask yourself is, does the message that I'm sharing, the content I'm creating, the way in which I'm showing up, the way in which I communicate and connect with my people, is that what I truly want to be saying?

Or am I holding back in some way, shape, or form? Am I showing up on social media, Instagram, TikTok, because I feel like I have to? Am I creating YouTube videos because I have to? Because I can't tell you how many people I talk to who tell me that they love to create content or at least spontaneously create content.

But when it comes to actually posting it or cutting the video or editing it, they hate it. [00:18:00] So that's I feel like a doing and a technical aspect that might not mean that you hate the message that you're putting out there. It just might mean that you don't like doing the technical bits of it. And I get it when you're starting a business.

Um, you might not have the resources to invest in somebody, but There are people out there that you can hire for very reasonably priced to support you in that, and I'm always of the mind that I'm like, do I want to spend the time to do it, and then deplete myself over the time? Or would I rather pay somebody right now?

knowing that I don't necessarily have the funds, but I'm willing to do this to get the ball rolling and create momentum because I know I can't create from a depleted place. And if I'm constantly depleted because I'm doing things in my business that I don't want to do, like or don't want or is not my zone of genius, then I'm going to struggle to create the momentum.

It's going to take a [00:19:00] longer time frame, I guess, is, is the thing. And that's something, again, you just have to be mindful of. And if you're okay with that, then again, it's setting the expectation. But this is the other piece of it. I think there's a lot of distortion between expectation. We want results in 30 days.

We want results in two weeks. And If you're here to truly create sustainability, then we have to start creating from that place. And by that I mean, you have to create with that notion in mind. If you're creating just to get out of survival mode, or get out of this do or die situation you're in, or whatever it is, if you're constantly operating from that perspective, that's what you'll continually create in the future.

So if you're on this hamster wheel of how do I get clients, how do I get clients, how do I get clients, you're going to stay on that hamster wheel. The problem I see is that a lot of people don't want to step off that hamster wheel, or they say they do, but then the actions they're taking don't actually [00:20:00] support them in getting off that, because they're constantly just trying to get the next client, and so their short term micro strategies right?

Which is like maybe boosting a post on Instagram, which I think is great, but what's the long term sustainability of that? Or maybe it's hosting a three day challenge quickly to get some cash injection in, or a two day promotion. I'm not saying these things aren't valid to do, but for me, anytime I'm creating foundations in my business, I'm creating it with that in mind.

I'm going to create the system that's going to create longevity in my business versus me trying to just get client, get client, get client, get client, which is something I experienced posting five days a week on social media. I was relying on those posts five days a week for 12 months to try and get clients.

And the funny thing is, is that I didn't really get clients from it. And yet I kept doing it, kept doing it, kept doing it, kept doing it, hoping for a different result. And that is The [00:21:00] definition of a sanity, I believe, right, is like doing the same thing over and over and over, expecting a different result, and I want to support you in stepping off of that.

And that means you have to look at things from a different perspective. If what you're doing isn't working for you, then what will? And then are you making decisions with a short term perspective? Are you making it with the longevity in mind? Because if you're in that reactive state, you're going to stay in that reactive state.

It's about changing the state that you're in, which comes back to being. If you're just taking short term steps. Then you're operating from the doing, what do I need to do in order to get clients rather than, who do I need to be in my business to attract clients into my world? And then what system, what strategy, what plan do I need to put into place in order to create the longevity and sustainability that I want in my business?[00:22:00] 

And if you want to create sustainability and longevity, you need a system of some sort that's predictable posting on social media. Five days a week does not create predictability unless you can guarantee that every single post that you put out there will get viewed by a certain amount of people and that a certain amount of people will respond to it.

And you can't, right? Whereas if you have a system in place, with consistently generation into your business, then you know that there's some predictability there that you can create within your business. So with that, I'm going to leave you, but I wanted to pose those questions to you because I think, again, we give so much of our responsibility and the responsibility of the success of our business to everybody else around us, whether that's.

consciously or unconsciously, right? You might not even know or realize that you're doing it, which is why I wanted to [00:23:00] be sort of this reflector and this mirror to you if you're listening to this right now. If you're in a situation in your business and you're trying to create results and you're constantly consumed with what do I need to do, what actions do I need to take, how, how, how, how, before you even address the being element of this, who do I need to be, which is what is the message I'm here to share?

Am I truly putting out offers that I want to, or am I just doing it to make money, get clients, bring some revenue into my business and all of that, which again, comes back to the reactive state. If you're in that reactive mode, you'll continually stay in that reactive mode. The problem is, is that in order to step out of the reactive mode, there is a slowing down.

which then makes the process longer, typically, and a lot of people can't hold that. And so I want to flag that for you. At a minimum of 90 days, people often [00:24:00] ask me, what would you do if you were launching a campaign? I said a minimum of 90 days. We need to give it a minimum of 90 days. If you're not giving your campaigns, 90 days, there's a problem right there.

So, with that, I'm going to leave you, but I hope this has been really insightful and I cannot wait to the next episode. Cheers! Thanks for listening. We'll see you right back here next time. You can also find us on social media at Creatively Owned and online at creativelyowned. com. Until next time, keep showing up as your authentic self.