The Unfiltered Truth Behind Reaching 9 Million in Sales That People Don’t Talk About with Ruth Larbie

INTRO:: [00:00:00] After generating over a million dollars in sales and selling one of her businesses with a single email, your host, Kathryn Thompson, takes an unconventional approach to marketing and sales. So if you're ready to tap into a more powerful way to be seen, heard, and a sought after entrepreneur in your industry without having to spend endless hours marketing your business and chasing clients, you're in the right place.

Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast is here to help you ditch the cookie cutter, one size fits all approach to marketing and use your unique energy to effortlessly attract the most aligned clients. When you do this, you can spend less time marketing your business and more time doing your soul work and enjoying the richness of your life.

Welcome to Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast. And here's your host, Kathryn Thompson.

Kathryn Thompson: Hey, hey, I am super stoked to have Ruth [00:01:00] Larby on the show today. Uh, she's such an inspiration and I, I'm going to turn it over to her, but I just want to absolutely praise her for the amazing work that she does and also how deeply transformational It is. And so I highly encourage you to stick around because there's so much wisdom that comes through her and her experiences and all that jazz.

So without further ado, I just want to turn it over to you, Ruth, so you can share with our listeners who you are and what you do. 

Ruth Larbie: Thank you so much for having me, Kathryn. I listen to this podcast always. It's my, one of my top three podcasts. I enjoy, I'm just so happy that I'm here. I'm a trauma informed business mentor.

I help high achieving women go from chasing success to magnetizing it. Um, my background, I have, Ooh, I'm dating myself here, but 30 years in sales experience. I started really, really young and I have [00:02:00] my first business, which I scaled to 9 million plus. And my second business, which is my coaching and mentorship business, where I help high achieving women achieve success without sacrificing their soul through streamlining their sales process so that they can.

be operating in their zone of genius. So they don't have to feel enslaved to their business. And I was able to achieve that in my first business by letting go of the reins. When I first started, I was hands on with everything. I handed all of the sales process, sales calls, and e sales to them. anything that was client front facing and back facing and back end facing with regards to client delivery.

I led my sales team, which I still do to this day, but I realized that in order to continue this way, I could only reach a certain cap because there's no way to continue at that space by doing it all. I had to learn to, to let go and identify what was the things that I excelled at in terms of connecting with [00:03:00] clients and how could I replicate that process.

And through that replication, I was able to replicate that same connection, same conversion rates that I had on my own. Because at first I thought, no one can sell like how I can sell. I know if you're watching right now, if you're listening right now, you may relate to that. You may be a solopreneur. We may have a small team, but you do the majority of the selling.

The challenge with that is like, you do the majority of the selling. You are always tied to how much you can produce and you will reach a cap. So I had this narrative that, Oh, no one could sell the same way as I can. And even when I had a sales team, I was still very hands on jumping on sales calls, finalizing the deal.

And I realized that's not sustainable. and recognizing what that thing was that allowed me to convert so highly was conviction. Yeah. And that is something in terms of sales. [00:04:00] Yeah, you can go so much further with. So if you have conviction and certainty and confidence, people feel that, that no like and trust factor.

I know they say that, but reality, you may not like the person, but that person, cause you trust that they can deliver. And sometimes we get caught up with being the most important person in the business. And when you recognize that you don't have to be, that's when freedom comes. You don't have to be the most important person in your business.

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah, so amazing. And I want to dive into sort of like the nine million because, and not from a like, how did you do it? And let's talk about that. But I want to, I want to kind of talk about the journey to the nine million and Maybe some of the obstacles that you've, you've encountered both in the business, like from a practical perspective, but maybe some of the inner turmoil that you've kind of gone through, because I think, I don't think I know, [00:05:00] and I've seen this from like observation and business is that we often chase that 1 million, 2 million, 3 million, 100, and we get to that point and it's like, Huh, it's not what I expected.

Or wait a minute, I'm not as happy as I thought I would be when I get to that million or two million. So I would love for you to share with people maybe some of the ahas, the obstacles, or the things that surprised you that on the way to nine million. 

Ruth Larbie: Wow. Well, one of the big things was that I noticed how my identity was so attached to my network, my self worth, like I, if my income went up, I was happy and feeling secure, so I thought, and when my income dived, all the insecurities and this imposter syndrome came up and can I do this again?

And I make this mean something about me? So in our first year, second year of business, we scaled to a million dollars. Um, But in the [00:06:00] third year, we actually plummet from 1 million to 600, 000. So we did a nosedive. And when I look back on that, like I shared a little bit earlier, I was carrying everything and it was this hustle mode.

I was always on in business working, like at the beginning when we're building, I was working 12 hours a day. It's like I, my, I live, breathe my business. And I didn't know how to separate myself from the business. I was always available for my team. I was always available for clients. Like there was zero boundaries.

And when we did that, no dive egg against insecurities came up like, oh my gosh, like what happened? Was this mean I was chasing strategy after strategy, that shiny object syndrome? Yeah. Let me, I wanted to. Fix it mode versus let me pause and see and optimize what was working. What got us in a million and dial in on that versus let me jump ship and pivot.

And this is, I noticed as a lot in the online space, when things all of a [00:07:00] sudden don't work the way you used to, instead of doing small tweaks, they do a whole overall overhaul and what you're doing is you're killing momentum. What I learned about me during that time was, wow. Like I learned that I, I.

didn't trust my process. I didn't trust my team. I felt that, like I said earlier, I was the most important, important person in the business. It was all on me and I carried that weight. And as a result, you know, when I wasn't showing up fully, I felt like sales were crumbling. 

And 

Ruth Larbie: I'll talk more about that a little bit later about the energetics of sales, but I really, my identity was like, Oh, if I lost that millionaire status, I didn't have value anymore.

All of 

Kathryn Thompson: a 

Ruth Larbie: sudden. 

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah. Um, so interesting. And, and the, the plummet, right, the plummet in sales from a million to 600, 000, like what [00:08:00] internally, if you can kind of put words to it, like, Yeah. When you talk about it being tied to your self worth, what did that feel 

Ruth Larbie: like? Oh, there was anxiety. Like I would feel contraction in my chest and I made a lot of purchases.

Like I purchased my principal residence. I purchased an investment property and like all these payments and there are new constructions. So you can Hey, as you go. So I made a lot of decisions based on money that I earned the year before. So there was a lot of anxiety around that. Um, and then a lot of shame, like, Oh, like I was, I really just a one time hit wonder.

And don't get me wrong. Multiple six was amazing, but they also, the other reality of it is that our, we had high revenue, it wasn't high expenses that. Debt. So I had to make sure my team was paid, ad spend was taken care of. All these expense. We used to have an office space, so we eventually let that go and we worked remotely, but it was a lot of overhead cost.

And so [00:09:00] seeing a dip, I was like definitely in dysregulation. I was in a dysregulated nervous system state. I was constantly ruminating on how to fix the situation. When I look back on it, if I just had paused and just been like, you know, I don't need to do any more. Sometimes we think, oh, I need to do more.

And the more we are in that thought process, the more we're actually capping our income. Sometimes it's actually doing less. Yeah, 

Kathryn Thompson: yeah, it's so interesting because I was, I was having this sort of like inner dialogue with myself today, which I often do right is like in my own contemplations, right? Like what, you know, podcast episode, you know, does my audience need to hear?

And I feel like this is the one they definitely need to hear because I think. One of the biggest things that I see and observe again is that fix it mode, right? So like, will we allow it to just be good and accept that like the 600, 000, the million, the [00:10:00] 9, 000, 000, the 100, 000, the first dollar you make in your business, like is good.

And that we often, and I've been talking with a few business owners that like, quote unquote, feel like they've broken the business because they got into that hyper state of, you know, needing to fix it when one thing looked off or one, they had these ebbs and flows, which are so natural to business. And I've done it too, right?

I've made an investment in a course or a program or a coach because I was going through a dip and I'm like, I need to, I need to hire somebody to help me fix the thing. And then I realized it was just a dip and that I was going to come out the other end if I just for a moment paused. But so how, you know, looking back on that, like maybe if I just would have paused, so to speak, how have you cultivated the resiliency to now navigate your business this way?

Because it does take resiliency to like, instead of always having that foot on [00:11:00] the gas, go, go, go fix, fix, fix. There is a resiliency and probably a bit of emotional intelligence and awareness to like, just sit in the discomfort for a moment of the dip of the six, like to the 600, 000 or even a dip from 100, 000 to 50, 000.

Ruth Larbie: Yeah. Yeah. In hindsight, I threw, you know, that saying, you know, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. I threw away tons of babies out with the bathwater. It was like, when I look back on it, like you said, that pause, because we go into fix it mode. And what we're doing is we're, we're killing the momentum.

So there's seeds that we plant. So as we don't see the evidence of that right away, or we see a little dip and we think what we, all the days prior. doesn't mean anything. One dip, a season, a month, a few months, a year, does that, does not dictate all of the accomplishments you have done. It doesn't negate it.

And sometimes in [00:12:00] our fix it mode, because we're, we're going through trauma drives. We're on fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. And for me, I was fighting, all the time. I wanted to control it. And if I just had paused back then, and first of all, identify number one, like, I'm not my business. My business is what I, is what I've accomplished, what I do.

That's not who I am. I offer incredible value. And sometimes we go through the same Season, but the season of winter is temporary. So I'm trying to make these permanent decisions on a temporary season. Um, really acknowledging like who I was, um, because even during that time, like I felt like even how I was leading my team, I was leading through anxiety because I was like, oh my gosh, like, They're relying on me in terms of them getting paid.

And instead of trusting the process, I went into, let me fight, let me fix, let me control, let me throw out things that weren't working. [00:13:00] And then we were just circling for a long time for three years. Wow. We were in a diff for about three years until we saw the other side. 

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah. And it's so interesting when you can identify the sort of the reactive mode that you're in based on that dysregulation.

For me, it's flight. Like I am like, burn the thing down. I'm done. I'm never doing this again. I want out. I'm never going to have a brick and mortar ever again in my life. I'm never going to sell wine again in my life. I'm never, you know, it's like this very definitive, burn it down, throw it out, be done with it.

And that is my flight response. And so. What's so interesting in the lessons I've learned about myself is, and the more I became regulated in my nervous system was, and stopped operating from trauma drive, was that it's often not the thing, quote unquote, that I hate or I don't [00:14:00] like, or it's, it's actually, usually has to do with maybe the environment, maybe a bit of the structure, but it's like, I love coaching, I love mentoring, but if I'm in a season of, you know, maybe not necessarily seeing the most aligned clients come through my funnel, let's just say, right?

Then I'm like, Oh man, maybe I don't want to be in the coaching industry. That could be a thought that comes up like, Oh, I want to get out of coaching. And I want to go sell handbags instead. I mean, that's just an example, but it's like, I'm, I'm literally going none of this because I'm going through a season of maybe not seeing what I wanted or expect getting what I really desire.

And so that I'm willing to sort of, that's my flight, that flight response. And so that's the work I've had to really do. for myself, um, so that I know when I'm navigating, it's actually usually the environment or structure, um, but it's often not something I need to fix right now in this moment. It might be a [00:15:00] micro tweak in messaging, or it might be a micro tweak, or it might just be a shift in my energy.

Ruth Larbie: Yeah. That energy goes a long way. And back to like, you know, the energy even behind sales and looking back at like, you know, 9 million. Like, wow. Like I never, I first went into business, never thought I wasn't thinking I'm going to go make a million dollars. I was like, Oh, I can work for myself. Don't have to be a answer to anybody.

I can be my own boss and be able to serve my clients. Like these were the thoughts. But to get to that first million or to multiple millions, it is the energy behind what you are selling. That I've seen it when I would train my team where we would be looking like it would be a bad week, quote unquote, and all of a sudden sales would turn around because their conviction was reinstilled back into them.

Their certainty, you can see it in how they connect. Like there's something magical with sales. Like nothing happens. in this world without sales. [00:16:00] For those that are listening, they're like, Oh, I find sales icky and yucky. No, you got to change the narrative. Everything that this chair you're sitting on, the walls you're looking at, everything in front of you happened because a transaction was not.

And that transaction leads to someone's transformation. And when you're looking at the person that's just offering that. providing an invitation and looking at from that lens versus I got to get someone to do something for me, not about you. But I identify, you know, when I was able to replicate the sales process was removing myself from the process and looking at what I did so well in the conversations and that, that burning desire, that conviction, that energy behind how I communicated, how I connected was really the driving force.

Like I hid. I ran away from my zone of genius for a [00:17:00] long time. Like when I transitioned, I still had the first business. When I was entering into the coaching world, I thought my past experience wasn't relevant. And I actually, first of all, I never shared about the millions I made in my first business until two years into it.

And even that was very quietly. I didn't want, I thought it wasn't relevant. I thought because my business wasn't built on social media, I didn't have value when I was connecting with people on social media. I just thought that, well, I didn't make my millions in this arena as a coach, then that disqualifying in me serving people, which is absurd when I think about it.

But there's a lot of people I noticed that are transitioning either from corporate or from another, maybe a brick or mortar, and they're thinking that, oh, well, my past experience isn't as relevant. I need to start over. Or I'm this newbie coming into this industry and you're not. People are so grateful to have [00:18:00] someone who has experience away from this echo chamber.

The online space can feel like an echo chamber to be quite honest. And he has some outside experience that is so valuable. 

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah, and it's so true and I'm so glad that you said that about sales and it being an invitation and it's and it's a pathway to a transformation because I do think a lot of people listening to this are.

Probably hiding behind the sales like I don't want to be icky and I don't want to be pushy and I, you know, don't want to say the wrong thing or whatever it might be. And it really just is an invitation when you take the pressure off yourself to be the transformation for that person rather than maybe the guide or the catalyst or whatnot.

And it's about this two way sort of street, and it's an invitation. There's something so much more beautiful about that. But the other key thing that I really love, and I want to dive into this a little bit more, is around the pivot. [00:19:00] And this notion, because I know when I came in from the offline world to the online world, it was a belief that I definitely carried.

That the experience that I had in corporate, and the experience I had in my brick and mortar selling wine was very different than selling a coaching or a service. And so it was like, who am I to actually help them? And yet I came into the industry with 20 years of like 15 years of experience, basically, um, with multiple degrees.

And I know lots of people listening to this. I know you've got lots of education, lots of experience. And so it's so interesting that we have this thought of like, well, I need to either offer something that I don't actually really want to offer because it's the safest thing to offer because it's the thing that I feel really confident in, even though it might not be the thing I want to do because I don't think I have built up the experience yet.

So I want to chat about that pivot because I think a lot of people in my world are pivoting, considering expansion and evolution, and I want to talk about like leading [00:20:00] yourself through that and what that sort of. Looked like and looks like. 

Ruth Larbie: Yes. In hindsight, when I look back on my journey when I started back in 2020, was that if I had just owned my magic from then, I, my second business would've blown up.

Like how my first business, Hmm. The reason why my first business seemed success so quickly. A Million Under Two Years was because I was operating in my zone of genius and my magic. When I transitioned and entered into this online space, I thought, as I shared, that wasn't relevant. So I wasn't offering roles that highlight that.

And I say this with such conviction. When people struggle with sales or they find it icky and yucky, especially if they're selling their own service, nine out of 10 times, they're selling something that isn't fully aligned. They may have skill set. In that area, they may have a zone of excellence in it, but it's not what they really want to do.

They're not owning the parts that [00:21:00] sets their business on fire in a good way. So they are hiding. So for me, I, my message was diluted because I wasn't owning that. I thought, well, because I didn't grow my, Business on social media, for example. Uh, I can't really help people that way. I thought my sales experience wasn't relevant.

Mm-Hmm. So I came up with this narrative like, oh, okay, well I can only, um, help certain people, but my skillset is transferable. I can help. Because sales is transferable, once you understand the principles of it, you can help people. Like, bottom line. And for, for those that are watching that are thinking, oh, well, my, my experience is irrelevant, or I, I'm feeling stuck right now.

I would encourage to ask this question. Am I fully operating in my zone of genius? And am I owning it? Mm. Am I owning it with conviction? 'cause people can feel it in your content. They can feel it when you go [00:22:00] live. They can feel it when you're on that sales call. If you are running away from it because you told yourself that, oh, I can't screw my dis serve in this area.

You are doing yourself a massive disservice. And sometimes we have to go through it to see it. But looking back at that. My transition wouldn't have been so murky or, um, so slippery or whatever you, how you, I can't even describe it right now if I owned it and how you show up as a reflection of that. 

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah, and the conviction and belief is huge, right?

And so if there's even that like wobbling sense of doubt or disbelief, you're 100 percent true that people will feel it. And I know this can feel like airy fairy, like, you know, that it, but it is 100 percent a game changer. Like the energetics and the, like, the unseen, the [00:23:00] invisible work is literally a game changer.

Every strategy. There's so many strategies at work, and we've seen it. You and I have both seen it in businesses. Like, I built my brick and mortar way different than creatively owned, which is this business. Yes. And, and yes, the skills are transferable and yes, the principles are there, but, and you've seen this in your business, how you've structured one business versus the other and the strategies you use are different.

So it's, it's not the strategies per se, like, yes, we need them. We need a plan and a strategy, but it's the energetic piece that I feel like is the piece we bypass. in order to get the results. Cause we think if we just have the strategy, if I just, if you just tell me the steps, if you just show me the plan, right, that you'll, I'll be able to fast track my results.

And in reality, it's this messy, deep meeting parts of ourselves that we maybe didn't even want to look at. This is the work that will actually quantum leap your business. And I don't even like using the word quantum [00:24:00] leaks. I feel like it's overused, but it's true. It's this like leap that you're like, How did I not see this before?

And now I'm seeing it, but it's like the journey. And sometimes, like you said, you have to go through it to see it. 

Ruth Larbie: And I'm so grateful for my journey. I, I still am like, I really, I learned so much during these past years. Um, and I'm grateful for it because my first business was a quick success and I had different lessons in that.

But this was a real test of, uh, commitment and resilience and believing, um, in my non circumstantial power, like no matter what, like I'm going to continue no matter what, even though I look at my first business and this business and compare it, I'm like, what's apples and oranges, like night and day, but I have this burning desire and conviction to serve.

And when I showed up powerfully. Clients come like there's a, [00:25:00] there's a correlation with that if you're showing up and I hate saying showing up as your authentic self, because it's an overused term and people are like, what does that mean? And I struggle with that. What does it mean? Being authentic, being authentic is, is being in your true power.

allowing yourself to be seen fully. That's what being authentic is all about. And when we're hiding, and what I mean by hiding, downplaying our, our expertise, showing, and I, when I say consistently, it doesn't mean you have to show up every day online, but you would like show up, Powerfully one month, then ghost the next month.

So you're not being consistent in that sense. But when you show up consistently, when you own your power and you allow yourself to be seen through it all, that's what being authentic is all about. 

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah. And the thing that gets in, in the way of authenticity is basically the work that you do with a lot of your leaders, which is, you know, this trauma informed [00:26:00] leadership, obviously helping people with sales as well and whatnot, but it's, it's easier said than done to just be authentic, right?

If we have this trauma and it doesn't have to be a big, huge trauma, it could be, you know, something micro, like somebody said something to you when you were 15, like, who are you to? go on stage and be in drama class or, or a teacher telling you you're a terrible writer, which is what happened to me. And I share that story often, right?

And thinking, oh man, I can't write. And here we are, I'm in communications, right? But struggled with the notion of like, what if my writing isn't good enough? What if somebody doesn't like it? What if somebody criticizes it? So it's these traumas and these. you know, blocks that prevent us from really showing up in our authenticity, which is the work that you help and support leaders do in order to really create that legacy that they ultimately want to create.

Ruth Larbie: Absolutely. And on first, uh, uh, face value, people may come to me and say, okay, I just want to blow my business. I want to get [00:27:00] tons of sales. They look at my success. They're like, I want to do that. But in the work, it's so much more deeper than just making more money and more sales. Uh, it really is about the inner work and what's driving them for success.

And for some, it's not even about that dollar value. It's about, Oh, am I enough? Yeah. You know, who am I? And we have, and a lot, and a lot of us entrepreneurs, we're entrepreneurs 'cause we're not normal regular people. . Yeah. So there was things in our past that we were told we weren't good enough. Like similar to you, I had teachers tell me I would never make it to university.

My writing was so bad, have a master's degree in counseling. So, you know, dispel that myth. Yeah. You know, um, I, I, I, when I was younger, like I had a speech delay. And I thought to myself, I would never be a good speaker. And hey, [00:28:00] here I have an opportunity to speak to people through content, through podcasts, through being on stage like this.

We dictate what our life is moving forward, but a lot of us have narratives. and trauma, either big or small, the big T or the small T, that dictates our action. And sometimes we have to look at it to find out how we can change that narrative. And that's the work I love to do. It's, for me, it's more of, you know, what's happening in the body that influences your mind.

So back to why sales are low. If you're not operating your zone of genius, one thing you may notice, you may be in contraction a lot. Yeah, you're in contraption. That's telling you, your body's telling you, uh, this isn't it. I don't feel good. I don't feel safe. And it's for us to pay attention to why that is.

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah, and that physical, I was just having a conversation with somebody the other day that like those physical cues that our body gives us, [00:29:00] right? Um, I remember in corporate, my very last corporate job, I started to get this weird rash around the left eye. And, I couldn't figure it out. Of course, I'm like, I'm not going to the doctor.

I'm not going to the doctor. I'm not going to the doctor. And then eventually I go to this doctor randomly, not my doctor, but there's a random walk in clinic. And there was this small little Chinese man who was Hey, I can help you in the medical realm, like in the Western medical, but I'm Eastern, Eastern trained basically.

And it's something below the surface that you need to look at. Like I can give you the cream to try and make it go away, but it's something internally. He goes, my, my doctor friends aren't going to like me saying that, but I just going to leave you that tidbit. I'm like, what are the chances that I get this doctor and this random, nothing's random.

The 

Kathryn Thompson: minute I quit my job. That rash went away and I've never had it since. Ain't that something? 

Ruth Larbie: Your body 

Kathryn Thompson: was like 

Ruth Larbie: screaming. 

Kathryn Thompson: It's time, 

Ruth Larbie: right? Oh, [00:30:00] it's so true. Our body holds on to so much. Our body is an indicator of where we need to go and that trusting of our intuition and that nudge. And for especially if, especially with people that have a lot of trauma, sometimes trusting your intuition, you don't know how to do that.

Right. Um, and it's because people say, well, just trust that knowledge. I go, well, I trust that in the past and it got me into a lot of trouble. Sometimes it is a work in exploring, you know, what is safe to follow, but typically your body always tells you where to go. It does. 

Kathryn Thompson: And that's so beautifully said because I've heard that from people like I don't actually, I don't have intuition or I don't know how to listen to it.

And then when we kind of got dove a little bit deeper, it was the fact that they didn't actually trust the intuition because it led them astray or so they thought, right? 

Um, 

Kathryn Thompson: so I think that's so beautifully articulated. If there's that disconnect, uh, disconnection from the intuition for whatever [00:31:00] reason, that's somewhere to sort of contemplate because we're all intuitive.

Ruth Larbie: Yes, we are. 

Kathryn Thompson: Our bodies are intelligent. Our minds are intelligent. Yeah. 

Ruth Larbie: And we had to choose to acknowledge it or not, but it's there. Yeah. And sometimes we do get that nudge in our business to take a certain action, but then we start to intellectualize it and say, nah, I don't need to take it. Yeah. Are you sure, buddy?

And every time you say no to that, It's like you're stopping an opportunity. Like there's an opportunity there. And whenever I follow those nudges, whether it's my first business or second business, I never regret it. It always produced fruit. And sometimes the fruit doesn't necessarily mean money. So some people, especially in the online space, we look at wins and we equate it to money.

Sometimes your wins will not be monetary. Sometimes those wins are the most magical ones, because [00:32:00] who are you becoming when you take those nudge? How, how are you becoming? Who are you growing, uh, becoming? Because that nudge, you acting on it is the lesson. Transformation. It's not about, Oh, I signed up a whole bunch of clients and I made six figures in a day.

Sometimes those wins will be there, but sometimes it's not even about that. I showed up in my power. I allowed myself to be seen. People heard my message. I resonated with so many people. I'm so much stronger as a result. Like, I built a stat, like all of these things leads to that six figure payout, million dollars, all of those things you're doing now.

But the challenge is that we're in a popcorn society where we need to see immediate, um, gratification. And when it doesn't happen, we begin to think something is wrong. Yeah. And it's so far from the truth. [00:33:00] 

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah. And that again, is like, if you're listening to this, you might want to rewind this And listen to this again, because this is so true, this popcorn society, but also We put so much weight and measurement on the number of clients, the number of followers, the number of views, the money in the bank account, and when we don't reach those in some predetermined timeline that we've given ourselves, which is interesting in and of itself, because we actually don't have any control over that, over this deep transformation that we might be going through, right?

To me, They're equal, if not, the deeper transformations, the who are you becoming, the big shifts that you're making, these unseen, invisible, often on the surface, to me are far more important because the money is just a byproduct. The money will come when you do this work and [00:34:00] vice versa, right? Like, so if you're in alignment, taking inspired action, and listening to the nudge that might seem completely out of left field, like, wait a minute.

This wasn't the trajectory I was planning, but okay, I'm listening. When we follow that without the resistance, the resistance comes because, like you said, the ego goes, are you sure? What if you go that way and you get hurt? wreck what you've built, or what if this is gonna fail, or what will people say that you're changing direction again, or whatever it might be, the ego starts to run rampant.

Ruth Larbie: And especially if the ego's telling you, oh, I should be further than where I am right now. Yeah. If your ego's trying to convince you that I'm not where I'm supposed to be. and where I'm supposed to be is not enough, then you will always feel like you're losing. It would never be enough. But when you recognize that where I am right now [00:35:00] is enough, where I am right now is where I'm supposed to be, then the action you take, the inspired action you take daily, doesn't have this heaviness to it.

Like, I gotta succeed or I'm a failure, it's black and white. 

I'm 

Ruth Larbie: wearing you. Success, as you know, is not linear and it's all about, and we say this all the time, it's about the steps we take daily, but it's, it's believing that you've already are there. That's the key. When you're operating from a place of lack, like, oh, it's not enough, then you're actually repelling the things you actually want, because you're telling the world, you're telling God, you're putting it out there that, It's not enough.

And you're going to get back not enough. Versus I have everything I need in this moment and you show up fully in this moment, guess what? You're going to get back all you need. And that's what I had to learn when I reflect [00:36:00] back in the nine millions, or even my second business. It's like everything I took, every step I took, Was enough.

There was too many times I was thinking it wasn't enough. And what I did was I just lengthened the time of getting to that other side. Every time I convinced myself, it's not enough. I got to do more. I was actually repelling the money I wanted to create. And it was, it was just a downward trajectory versus when I'm like, I'm where I'm supposed to be.

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah, doing what I'm supposed to be serving in the way that I'm supposed to be and it's so beautiful because it's a deep surrender, but it's also a really deep self acceptance and acceptance of what is in this moment, which sounds so cliche, but it's like, that's all we really have. Like, if you actually think about it, that's really all we have this moment right now, where I'm talking to you, you're talking to me.

And yet, so much of how we build our life going forward is often dictated from our [00:37:00] past, and past experiences, like, For example, if we saw quick wins in our first business, then maybe that's what we carried forward to expect in our second. And when it didn't happen, some way, shape, or form were a failure.

Because I remember opening the doors on day one in my brick and mortar and selling 40 batches of wine, When I had no presence online, I had not promoted it. Like, the only people that really knew was like our kind of our network, but we had people that were beyond our network come through the door. 40 batches on day one, we were like, wow, like I didn't really have to do much.

We just opened the doors to the public. Yeah. So, Of course, I'm going to have this distorted view and comparison and expectation when I came online was like, well, I just have to like, open my virtual doors and people will rush in. And when that didn't happen, it was like, well, what am I doing wrong this time?

And then you go down the seeking path of, well, somebody is going to tell me this, and I'm going to sign up and have somebody tell me and [00:38:00] fix this. When in reality, it's like, well, what It was just two very different experiences that weren't producing the same outcomes. They couldn't be compared. They were different.

And then we also worry about the future. Like, I need to, I need to have X dollars by a X date or I need to be married by I'm 30 or I need to have the white picket fence by 35 or whatever it is, right? We put these timelines on it that then has us living in the future and there's so much pressure there.

Ruth Larbie: Yeah, that living in the past. Living in past results have capped me so much. I constantly compared my second business to my first business. First business, like you, open up our doors, online business, but different online business, where we got sales right away, turn on the ads, got applications, got sales right away.

It was simple. And when I didn't see that right away in the second [00:39:00] business, I was like, Wait a second. I'm doing it wrong versus like what you just shared. That's a completely different experience. I got to approach it differently. I need to manage my expectations and because I kept thinking there's something wrong, I kept outsourcing my power to everybody else to fix me, to fix it, because I'm doing it wrong.

Yeah. Well, the only thing I was doing wrong was I was living in my past results versus accepting where I was right now in this new business. 

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah. And, and the, the desire of what you wanted to create, right. It's like, without being attached to that future outcome in a certain period of time. And then I think to the difference, right.

And I know I felt this in mine is like, I was selling wine, which was very detached from me to then going to sell a service that is like my body of work, but also me. Right. And so it's like, it's really easy to [00:40:00] sell wine because I it's wine, but then go sell your service where you're a copywriter or helping with marketing.

It's like, There's this weight and pressure that we naturally put on ourselves. Like, well, what if someone doesn't like it or what if they don't get the results or what if, and that's the inner battle. So it's harder sometimes to sell yourself than it is to sell a product or an extension. 

Ruth Larbie: Something. And that's the biggest challenge that people have transitioning from corporate or brick and mortar or a different, because I had an online business, but I wasn't the face of the brand.

So becoming a coach, I became the face of the brand and people wanna know more about me and I had to be visible online, which was completely different from my first business did. I didn't have to post anything on social media. I was of, I was a. and we will be very happy if you participate in terms of a bystander.

Not someone that was actually producing content. So I, all these visibility things came up and trying to prove myself. Versus my first visit, [00:41:00] it wasn't prove myself was proving our services was worthy, but this was like proven myself. And it was very personal. And that's what keeps us hiding too. Cause I'm like, oh, I gotta be seen.

And then dealing with rejection in a different way when you feel there's more rejection of you versus your services. Uh, so separating the two. 

Kathryn Thompson: Totally. Totally. And then the identity of the human being. that's required in a lot of ways to, to show up, whether that's in, in the, you know, personal brand business, or whether that's the leader within a company, like, how do I actually lead?

So like, if you start from grassroots, and you've got a team of one, and then you build to a team of 10, and then 500, It's like, like you said, Wow, there's this whole team of people that are now relying on me for an income. 

Holy 

Kathryn Thompson: shit. Yeah. Yeah. That's like heavyweight. [00:42:00] 

Ruth Larbie: Yes, absolutely. I guess I'm industry in love.

I thought this, I thought this business will be easier than my first one, but I'm like, No, it was a real eye opener for me. A lot of my stuff, my wounds, all insecurities, all of that came to the forefront. It was like, feeling like I was brand new. Like, as I shared earlier, having no, like, experience meant nothing.

I felt like, Everything just went out the window and I'm, and if, when I look back on that, if I just had owned my value on my power, I would have showed up differently, which I'm grateful that I see that now by see that and the audience I serve, I see that so much in the online space where people are hiding and not operating in their zone of genius, not having that same conviction when with what they're selling because there's something in their mind telling them it's, they're not fully owning it.

And it comes across and that's what I [00:43:00] do. I move people through that where their sales can blow up. I've seen that time and time again with clients that I've served in my first business where I'm training my sales team, where I see how their identity shifts and they walk into that person and they sell like crazy.

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah. And it's, yeah, you know, it's so interesting because I feel like the. You know, as you were saying that, I'm like, I wonder if lots of us, like, visionary disruptors, like, really intellectual, with tons of experience, came into the online world to experience the difference, right? The difference between it, so that we could serve in our zone of genius in a lot of ways, because I truly believe that we can't meet somebody where they're at if we haven't gone to those depths before.

Mm-Hmm. . , yes. Right. It's really hard to serve. So it's like, man, I had to walk through that fire. And those deep personal learnings and that personal [00:44:00] growth, which I think is the personal brand, you know, is like you, you really have to face. whatever's going on in here, the not enoughness, the, you know, trauma drive, the dysregulated nervousness, whatever it is, you have to, you have to look at that at some point because it's going to hit you at some point in, in your growth in your business.

So true. 

Ruth Larbie: And, and trust me, I, cause I've been through it. I can witness people easily and guide them through it. And that's the work, right? Like that's, you know, that's what mentorship is about. Someone who had walked through it, as you said, walk through that fire. So when your people that you're serving are going through the fire, you know exactly how to hold space for them.

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah, yeah. And the deepness of being trauma informed. I think there's not a lot of people who are trauma informed, um, which I think is so necessary because you know how to hold the [00:45:00] space to that capacity. 

Ruth Larbie: It's true. When I entered into the coaching world, I had a master's degree in counseling and I thought, well, coaching is kind of like therapy, which I now know there's a major distinction with that.

But, um, I think in the coaching industry. We do need more people that are highly skilled to bring people through their journey. And people are like, well, you're a business mentor. You don't need to be trauma informed. There are so many people that are not operating in their inner zone of juice, not operating in their truth, that they're driving themselves to the point of capacity is the point of burnout.

They don't even realize because in this, uh, arena where we're taught just keep hustling, keep building, put your feelings aside. And I'm not saying for you to live there, but I think to acknowledge it. And once you have that awareness of what you're doing and where you're operating from, that's when change happens.

Yeah. And for me, in my first business, I was so in my trauma drive. In my second business, I was so operating my trauma [00:46:00] drive and surrendering, as you said so beautifully, really is the key. Surrendering is the key to magnetism. Surrendering is the key to quantum leaping. All the things you desire start from surrendering.

Surrendering from what it was. Surrendering to what you want it to be, surrendering to what is happening, what it is right now, and letting go. That's where, that's where the magic happens. That's the only place, and when you're holding on to, Oh my gosh, I'm not where I'm supposed to be, or I'm not where I used to be, you're killing your magnetism, you're killing your quantum leap.

Kathryn Thompson: Totally. Totally. It's that gripping and that control, um, that just continues to get tighter and tighter if you don't learn and embrace the letting go and the surrender, um, or at least that's what I've experienced in my business, just get like that choke hold got tighter and tighter and tighter. To a point where like it impacted [00:47:00] relationships, it impacted sales, right?

It impacts it all. So. Right. 

Ruth Larbie: It does. 

Kathryn Thompson: Yeah. Well, it's been so lovely chatting with you. And I know that anyone listening to this is going to get so much value out of it because we covered so much, but is there anything else you would like to share that maybe we haven't touched on? 

Ruth Larbie: Oh, I mean, uh, one thing I would like to share is in continuation with where you are right now, the magic is in right now.

Magic is in this moment. People will be like, well, if I had a million dollar business, then I'll show up powerfully. In order to have that million dollar business, you got to be in your power right now. You know, I would show up powerfully if I had the big following. Well, in order to get the big following, you got to show up powerfully.

right now. Where you are right now is enough. It's more than enough. And once you [00:48:00] embrace that, that's when all the magic happens. That's when all your desires come to pass. 

Kathryn Thompson: I love it. I love it. And where can people find you if they want to connect and definitely connect with Ruth? Because honestly, there's so much wisdom, so much experience.

Uh, if you're in a position right now in your business where you, maybe you are feeling stuck or you're feeling like things aren't moving as fast as you want, or you've seen this dip or this, um, you know, things aren't working like they used to, and you're going like, Man, what do I need to fix? Ruth is so brilliant at holding the space so that you're not breaking something that's beautiful, um, and that you're able to gracefully pivot and become the person that you need to become in your business in order for it to really thrive, um, so that you're thriving.

So where can they find you to connect? 

Ruth Larbie: Sure, I have two Instagram accounts. The first one is Your Legacy Mentor, and the second one is Sales Coach Ruth. 

Kathryn Thompson: Amazing, and we will pop those, yeah, in [00:49:00] the show notes here so that you can easily access them, but definitely reach out to her over in the DMs on either of those accounts, um, and it's been such a pleasure having you on the show.

Thank you so much, Kathryn. So glad to be here. Amazing. 

INTRO:: Thanks for listening. We'll see you right back here next time. You can also find us on social media at Creatively Owned and online at creativelyowned. com. Until next time, keep showing up as your authentic self.