The Most Common Thing I Hear That Prevents People from Creating What They Really Want

INTRO: After generating over a million dollars in sales and selling one of her businesses with a single email, your host, Kathryn Thompson, takes an unconventional approach to marketing and sales. So, if you're ready to tap into a more powerful way to be seen, heard, and a sought after entrepreneur in your industry without having to spend endless hours marketing your business and chasing clients, you're in the right place.

Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast is here to help you ditch the cookie cutter, one size fits all approach to marketing and use your unique energy to effortlessly attract the most aligned clients. When you do this, You can spend less time marketing your business and more time doing your soul work and enjoying the richness of your life.

Welcome to Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast. And here's your host, Kathryn Thompson.

Kathryn Thompson: Hey, hey, super stoked that you're tuning in this week's episode. I cannot wait to dive into today's [00:01:00] topic because it's something that I'm. Uber passionate about. It's also a pattern that I have witnessed, not only in my own business and in myself, but a pattern that I've seen now having taken hundreds of sales calls, not only in my own business, but in other people's businesses.

And it's a pattern I believe that is the biggest killer to creativity and innovation. And it's the pattern that prevents us from actually going after what we want, and that is. Asking somebody else whether or not they believe in our idea, in our vision, asking somebody if they believe that it'll work.

Now, I get it, I get why we do this, and I, I've done it, and I do it to some degree. I don't do it as much anymore because, like I said, I've fallen into that trap where I've Put this belief responsibility on somebody else to tell me whether or not my vision is something that they can see [00:02:00] and see working.

And I have, in the past, not taken action as a result of that, and I want to share some of my story with you because I think it will help you if you're sitting in this moment right now where you have an idea and you want to act on it. But somebody told you along the way that it was never going to work, or you're in an experience, you're working with a mentor or coach and you want to do something a certain way, but the proven process or the steps that they're recommending.

Go against the grain of that and not from like a hating place of like, Oh my gosh, they suck. And like, they don't know what they're doing because their process works, but you might have a different vision for what you want to do, and you can't quite fit yourself into it. And there's a lot of resistance around it.

And yet you're trying to make it work the way that they're teaching you. but you have this totally other way that you want to do it [00:03:00] and you're scared that it might not work. I want to share my stories with you to hopefully give you the inspiration and even a little relief and the removing of pressure that in the grand scheme of things nothing really is certain and so you can do the proven process often or you can take the path often traveled and It still might not work out, and I've been there too, or you can take the chance on going on the path that you want and you feel aligned with and you feel called.

It still might not work, but it might work. Both paths have no certainty, and that is The biggest thing that's going to help relieve some of the pressure, but what I want to share with you is my stories because I've done that, and I have asked people if they believe in what I want to do. And I've had people say, [00:04:00] no, that's not going to work.

And I have in some cases, listened and not done anything. And in other cases, I have said, you know what? I appreciate your perspective, but I'm going to just do it my way. And it's worked out phenomenally. So some of you may know that I spent 15 years in corporate and I was a marketing communications expert there.

And when I wanted to leave, when I was getting ready to leave, I always had the itch. I had the itch probably, you know, mid twenties. I stayed until I was Mid thirties and I had the itch to want to be an entrepreneur to get out to do my own thing. I'm very creative, very innovative as you may be aware, and I wanted to do my own thing, but I just didn't know what it was.

I didn't know what that idea was, what I could do, and I was on the cusp of quitting and I was, you know, researching and googling and doing all the things and I started to see this. [00:05:00] Trend in online business consulting, that sort of thing. So I do what a lot of people do. I just started like googling and really kind of paying attention to what was out there, and I started to see a lot of people going online.

And this was back in 2014, so this was way before I ever went online. I started to kind of Google and get my ideas around it, and then a woman that was a mentor of mine and one of my. Corporate careers had left that company and we stayed in touch and she had reached out to me at one point in 2015 and she had said to me, Hey, Catherine, like what do you think about going on her own and starting her own business?

And I absolutely loved her. I like loved the mentorship that I had gotten from her. And I was like, oh my gosh, you'd making a. Amazing business partner. And so we started to kind of chat back and forth of what that could look like. And she was kind of recommending the traditional way in which we've built a business, brick and mortar face-to-face, you know, [00:06:00] going out and having conversations, networking, getting on the phone, calling people, that sort of thing.

Very local, nothing global. And I was like, Oh man, there's this like whole world online. Like we could absolutely do this locally, but we have such a broad reach. And the beautiful thing was, is that she had worked all over the world. And so it's not like she was just wanting to do local, but it kind of was like.

This is the thing like let's start kind of here and I was going big vision, right? I was like, I want to go global. This is kind of how I see it I feel like we could reach way more people. I think we could have a greater impact and every time we sort of met I was like pushing for this online thing and And she just couldn't get her head around it.

She's like, I just don't understand how we would deliver it. I don't understand what it would look like. And I don't understand, like, how we would go about getting clients like she couldn't kind of wrap her head around it. And that [00:07:00] doubt that she had, and that inability to sort of see clearly the vision that I had.

Put doubt in me. I started to doubt whether it was possible. I had seen people doing it, but I was like, is it possible for me? Will it work for me? Which is the biggest question I get asked on every single sales calls I've done. And that is like a bold statement, right? Because it's like, is it 50%? Is it 90%?

Every single call I've taken, there's been some form of question. Will this work for me? I'm X, Y, and Z. I have a special case. Will the process work for my particular business? And in some cases, a very small percentage, I would say like less than 1%, the process or the thing that I was selling did not work for them and their particular business.

About 5 or 10 percent of people. It didn't work for them [00:08:00] right now. They needed to do some pre rec work. Some, uh, there's some stepping stones that needed to happen before they were a right fit for the offer that I was selling, but they were still going to be a right fit at some point. I still get that question every time.

Am I good enough for this? Am I good enough for working with you or working with that person? Will this work for me? Do you believe in my idea? Like, I just wanted to get on the call with you. Like, I'm an in and I want to do this and I want to invest, but I want to hear from you that you believe my idea will work.

And I understand wanting to ask somebody because it's that validation. It's that like, okay, somebody else believes in it. Like, I'm not. Crazy over here. Having this vision and this idea of like where I could take things in my life, my business, my relationships, whatever it is that you're aspiring towards, and you are looking for that validation outside of yourself, right?

Because that idea has dropped within [00:09:00] you and maybe you haven't seen anybody else do it, or maybe you're seeing people do it, but you want to do it differently. Or maybe you just want to bring the idea to life and you want to own your authenticity and you're like, how do I do this in a world where there's a lot of cookie cutter, one size fits all approaches being sold and.

My only hope to you is, as you listen to this episode, is that you understand that, that doubt and that disbelief and that misunderstanding and not knowing that this particular woman was looking at me and not in a like, you're crazy, this is a stupid idea, I can't believe you'd even come up with this, it was more like, I just don't understand how we will do this, I can't, I don't have the vision that you carry, and I was trying to explain it, But a lot of doubts started to creep in with me, possibly because I was still in corporate.

And anybody that's left a corporate career, left that stability that we believe we have within it, right? We've [00:10:00] got that consistent paycheck. We know what's coming in every month. There is some stability there. It's easy to really get caught up in everybody else's doubt, like you're crazy, because the idea is that at some point you're going to quit that corporate and go build your own thing, which is a risk.

And so, in and of itself, packaged in that, right, there was the risk of leaving my corporate career, that stability, and having to kind of look at family and friends and everybody and go, this is what I'm doing, and then them looking at me going, you're crazy, why would you give up that job, that pension, that, All of the things, the benefits, right?

And then to say, Oh, and by the way, this is my really crazy idea that I want to do. And then people looking at you going, that's not going to work. Like you're, you're now really crazy, because you're going to give up this security. Like, and, and then trade it in for something that's like, not gonna work, or nobody understands how it works, or it's a bogus idea, [00:11:00] right?

And so there was a lot of fear in my life around that time, and so, That doubt and that limitation, and I say limitation and not again from a critical perspective like she wasn't intelligent or smart or anything like that, she was just limited in what she was able to see and it didn't matter kind of how I explained it and the way in which I explained it and even showing other businesses that were doing it, she still couldn't kind of wrap her head around it and she wanted to kind of keep it local, like I said, and again, That's her prerogative, right?

Maybe the idea of going global. Was a scary thing for her. I don't know. Right? Again, when we try to hang our belief or get the validation of our belief from somebody else, it's only going to come back to us in their limitation, their doubt, and how they see the world. So if they can't see the vision that you see, or if you just [00:12:00] share the idea, like, Hey, I think we could do this thing online.

Like, everybody has their own perception of what that is. And so, for example, this woman that. I was thinking of partnering with, she could be like online, like, you know, I don't get it. Like, how do we do it? Like if, if there's no sort of knowledge or understanding of what that digital marketing could look like, she's limited by that.

And so when you're sharing your ideas with like your mom or your dad or your husband or partner or friends or, or somebody on a sales call and you're looking at them to Validate that belief. There's only so much they can really validate for you, because Again, they don't, they don't know the full picture.

They don't know the intuition, the guidance, the instinct, any of that, right? And so I sat on this idea to go online from 2015 to 2018. And in the [00:13:00] interim, opened a brick and mortar, quit corporate, opened the brick and mortar. It was great. It was a stepping stone into entrepreneurship, but I had that inkling.

Literally in 2014 and then 2015 was like trying to make it a reality and then open the brick and mortar and here we are 2018 I had started to see some ads pop up again about the possibility of building this online business where I could support. other entrepreneurs across the world, you know, launch, scale their business and really help them put into words what they do because that is my zone of genius.

It's a knack of mine. And when 2018, those ads started to pop up in my feed, I remember clicking on one of those ads and my very first mentor and I still am in his world and still like think that was one of the best investments because [00:14:00] it really helped me lay the foundation and I remember getting his ad delivered to me and I remember clicking on it and I remember looking at the investment price and I remember it was like 2, 500 bucks, 3, 000 bucks, I think at the time.

I think it's still the same, to be honest with you. And I remember saying to my husband at the time, I was like, I am doing this. Like, I wasn't looking for permission. I wasn't looking for, Oh yes, this is a great idea. We had a brick and mortar. I was super busy within that. I just remember saying to him, this is what I want to do.

And this is what I'm going to do. And I'm going to invest. And there was no room for him to go, well. What do you mean? Like, what does that mean for the brick and mortar? Like, there was just no room for doubt or limitation or any of that to come through because I wasn't accepting it. In that moment, I wasn't accepting it because I knew that in 2015, when I wanted to do it, I allowed it.

Somebody else's disbelief of my idea and my vision to actually take action on [00:15:00] it. And I wasn't prepared to do that in this moment and I also wasn't prepared to hear from anybody that it was crazy and that you can't, you know, this online business thing is, is a scam. Lots of people were saying that in 2016, 2017, 2018, you'd get a lot of this.

Oh, this is a scam. It's a scam. It's a scam, right? Um, And you, you do get some of that still now, but it's more prevalent now and more widely accepted that there's online businesses everywhere and you can pretty much start one for anything, um, if you're going to support, support people. And so that's just one example of how I allowed that disbelief to prevent me from taking action.

Now I've taken action and I've done it, but it delayed that, right? Some people never get their idea off the ground. Some people never pursue the thing that they want to because of that disbelief. And what I want to share with you here today is to stop [00:16:00] asking people, stop relying on people and stop seeking validation from them, that your belief, your vision, your idea, the way you want to do things, who you freaking are is going to work because.

Nobody actually knows. There's no certainty. When I invested in that coach in 2018, I had no idea of the idea that I was going to go after. I didn't even really have an idea. I just knew what my zone of genius was. I just knew that I came with a ton of skills, ton of knowledge, a ton of mastery, and I knew that That I would be able to support people.

I knew I'd be able to create something at that point. I had no clue what that was going to look like. And I also didn't know there was no certainty around it. I just knew that I was tired of not doing the thing I wanted to do because. A seed of doubt had been planted in me at some point, and one of the [00:17:00] biggest things that I've struggled with is this, and I think it's a manifesting generator thing, it might be just the way that I'm wired, but it's like that fear that people just won't understand, it's that fear of being misunderstood, right?

Of like, they just won't get what I'm trying to say, they just won't get who I am, and When we can kind of shift that perspective, if you resonate with that, and shift that perspective of like, they don't need to understand my vision, they don't need to get my belief in what it is that I want, they don't even need at this point to get the idea, I'm just going to go after it.

And I want to share some other things that have happened over the course of my journey, because that wasn't the last time that I put belief in somebody else, that, I didn't have the thing work out for a while, you know, um, and, and it comes down to the online coaching space in general. And I've talked about this a lot and I, you know, I am so passionate about helping [00:18:00] people create and carve out a path that's aligned with them and that feels good for them.

And that isn't the cookie cutter because I lived that and I lived that a lot. In some of the other coaching experiences that I invested in where there was a proven process and it's like you, you follow the prison proven process because you want to make the investment back and you will have no leg to stand on if you don't follow it and.

It doesn't work, right? And that's the other thing that I really struggle with in coaching containers and experiences, because in my opinion, We're not here to create cookie cutter, uh, people. We're not here to have people fit into the mold. We're not here to have people follow us. You know, I want to work with thought leaders.

I want to work with change makers. I want to work with innovators. I want to work with creatives and Creatives and innovators. They're not gonna just fit themselves into a [00:19:00] mold because that's the proven process that you're selling and that for me is One of the biggest traps I fell into because I don't thrive in those experiences I don't thrive in a proven process experience and that is a realization that I have now realized after you know for

I thrive in thought partnership, I thrive in co creation, I thrive in creative brainstorming. I do not thrive in proven process. Follow these steps, and it'll work. One, because I find it really rigid. Two, I find it really robotic. And three, I know my creativity and my innovation is the thing that sets me apart.

I know that that is the thing that sets most people apart, and yet we're trying to conform. We're trying to fit into some pre scribed template or format. And I fell into that trap, [00:20:00] and I spent 12 months following the steps. And it not working. And I remember three months in saying there's got to be a better way and this just doesn't feel right to me energetically.

I couldn't shake the energy. It was like, it doesn't feel right. I feel like I want to do it this way. Like, why don't why don't we do it this way? You know, can this work? And I still trugged along, you know, following the steps. And I finally was like, screw it. I'm not doing this anymore. I'm going to just do it my own way.

I'm going to, you know, Share The Price Transparently. I'm going to um, invite people to book a call to talk about the offer. Not to book a call to potentially, you know, get some blueprint or strategy and then I'm going to pitch you on the call. I'm not doing that. I'm not getting on a sales call and asking somebody to pay me on the call.

I never, ever, ever accept credit card payment on the call. I never have. On our sales calls, [00:21:00] I've never done it. And yet, everybody who gets on that call and says yes. turns around and, and pays on their own and comes into it. And yet I've been told that if I let people walk away, they won't pay. And 95 percent of people that have said yes on my sales calls have walked away and a day later, two days later, I send them a link to join and they join.

So I'm sharing this with you because sometimes we have this innate instinct within us and we're like, I know that if I follow this, carve my own path over here, that one, it's going to feel better, but I just, I can't help the pull. I just feel this pull to do it, or I stay on this path and keep beating my head against the wall and it's not working.

And I did that for 12 months. And so I'm sharing this with you because I looked at everybody [00:22:00] else around me. I looked at my coach and, and put belief. I, I looked at their belief and said, you know, what is possible? And it was, this is how it works. This is what's possible. And again, it's the limitation of the person you're sitting across from.

It's the limitation, their limitation of what they know, Right? So there's, it's not like a bad thing. It's just, it's a, it's a, it's a learning on my part because they can only see what's possible based on their, like I said, limitation or what they've already achieved. And so. You need to understand that when they're presenting you back options and ideas.

You need to understand that when they're sharing that with you, that you can filter and go, okay, well, this hasn't worked for them. I'll give you an example of somebody who has done phenomenally well within Spellbound and the people that do the best in, My containers and [00:23:00] working with me are those that have an idea and Know that I'm providing, you know My thought partnership and co creation and expertise and guidance and I have my own thoughts and ideas of things but the people that do the best are the ones that take what they need and leave the rest and I'll give you an example at a client who came to me with this idea about doing a quiz, and the way in which she was gonna do the quiz wasn't a way I had seen done before, and it was different than how I had done mine.

And I was like, how confident are you with this idea? Like, how did it drop in? Where did it come from? And she's like, I'm so confident. Like, this is what I want to do. And I was like, run with it. I'm going to let you run with the idea, run with the way you want to frame it, run with how you want to create it, and she's done so well with that quiz.

And what's interesting is, is that she's gotten [00:24:00] better results on ad. And everything that I have, and it's funny because again, when you are looking through the lens of your own business, I'm like, well, on average this is what I pay, you know, through Facebook ads or whatnot. And then it's like, but every business is different.

Every industry is different. Offers are different, you know, and all of that. And so, working with me is, is about the creativity and the possibility. Like, you've got an idea, let's run with it. How do we, how do, how do I help you run with it? Because the biggest limitation, like I said, the pattern is, is that we look for outside validation.

Whether we're looking for validation. In somebody else to tell us, yes, that's going to work. Or we're looking for validation in the industry that we're in, that somebody else has already done it and they've been successful, which is why so much of the coaching industry, if you're in that industry is like an echo chamber because everybody's trying to.

To [00:25:00] emulate what everybody else is doing. Everyone's trying to create some type of version in their own way, but fit this mold. And one of the biggest things I try to encourage my clients is, is to like, get out of the industry that you're in. Go consume content, go watch a really great movie, or go read a book, or like, go walk through a museum, or go out in nature, or go take a trip, or do something that isn't so Tunnel vision focused on the industry that you're in because you can get lost in it, and then you can get limited by it.

You can get limited by what's been created and whether or not you believe what you want can be created. Our greatest inventions in this world and lifetime came from people willing to push the boundaries, came from people willing to go against the grain of what everybody else was saying that they needed to do.

The greatest inventions have come because they've had the courage to do that [00:26:00] and they had the courage to trust themselves over everybody else and everything else and the haters and whatnot. right? Or the people that said, no, this isn't going to work. If you look at some of the greatest, even artists, right?

Um, or, you know, the, you know, Spanx. I use Spanx as an example because she heard no so many times, and yet she had full belief that what she was creating was going to be amazing. And so in the face of no, she just kept going. James Dyson, same thing, right? I mean, he pitched his idea, Multiple times to big brands and they were like, no, this is never going to, this isn't going to work.

And then he was like, I'm just, I'm going to do it. I'm going to just make this happen. And he did. And that is that innate belief within yourself. You're not going to let somebody else, some other thing, culture, what you see out there in the world, be the dictator of what is possible for you and [00:27:00] that you can create what you want to create.

It just. might take resiliency and grit because you might hear no a lot and you might hear people say that's the dumbest idea ever or that's never going to work over and over and over again. And the difference between somebody that's gone on to create amazing products and services and inventions in this world have done that in the face of all of that.

It's not like they just popped up this idea and were like, okay, here we go. I'm going to go do this. And they've just became overnight success. No, they heard no. So many times they heard people say, get a real job. You need to stop doing this. You know, this isn't, this isn't a real job. This isn't going to work.

They've heard that over and over and over again. And yet they said, Cool. I like your perspective. And it's, I get it's hard. It's hard because I've done that. I have done that. I have [00:28:00] been the person that has gone, Okay, well, I'll just listen. And I'll follow. And one of my current mentors said to me recently, she said, Kathryn, have you?

Can you see a pattern here? Just even within yourself? And I said, Yeah, yeah. And she said, you're not a follower. Like, you're not meant to just follow what somebody's saying to you at face value. You're meant to lead, and when you do lead, and when you do trust, and when you do lean into that belief, things have worked out.

It's when you haven't. It's when you've put your belief in somebody else that it hasn't worked out for you. And so, again, You have a choice. There is a path that you can take. It's your choice what you want to take. It's your choice the steps you want to take in that path. It's up to you, ultimately, and My only, only suggestion is, is like, stop putting your belief in other people and stop [00:29:00] looking for confirmation that it's going to work through other people, through industry, because there's people that are creating new and innovative things all the time that are, that are widely different.

And that is what being different is about. That is what being different is about. It's not about Conforming to what is already being done. It's not about trying to fit yourself into some protocol. It's not about fitting in. So many people come to me and say, how do I be different? And I'm like, are you willing to be different is the question.

Are you willing to courageously step out there and do things differently? In the face of criticism, haters, trolls, people not getting you, people misunderstanding you, are you willing to do that? It's a very, very, very different question back because I want to be different is very different than are you willing to be different.[00:30:00] 

And that is the question you have to ask yourself, because you can follow some formula to try and be different, to niche down and to have this unique niche or this unique angle. But are you willing to be different? Are you willing to show up differently in the online space? Are you willing to look at the online space for what it is, whatever industry you're in and go, Okay, I can see the patterns here of what we do and I also know that I want to try this and I'm going to try it.

Are you willing to try and fail? Are you willing to try and fail and try and fail and try and fail? Are you willing to believe regardless of all of the other shit that's going to be thrown your way? And that's a question you need to be asking yourself, not how do I be different? Am I willing to be? And what does different look to me?

Not, how do [00:31:00] I, in some formula, write to be different? Because being different is embodiment. It's living the message. It's being the work. It's not, I'm going to write something to sound different. That's not being different.

That is trying to fit in. That's trying to fit a mold and a formula. That's trying to follow the rules. Creativity and innovation, well, having structure in your life and all of that supports you being able to be creative and have the space to do that, but we've got to bust through the rules. If there's parameters and rules around what's going to work and what isn't going to work, Like, you've got to write your hook this way, and then you've got to have a sentence that says this, and then a sentence that says this, like, that's formulaic.

And not everybody can talk that way. Not everybody will. And the best content, in my opinion, [00:32:00] the stuff that goes viral, the stuff that gets people going, oh my gosh, I love this, and gets people reaching out is authentic content. Stuff that sounds like you. Stuff that's unfiltered. Right? I'm not following a script right now.

I'm just showing up and talking. Talking about what has come through for me, and not following some type of script. And I get having something in front of you to guide you is great, but sometimes I'm like, throw the bloody script out and just riff. Just riff. We all have something to say. There's, all of us carry a story, all of us carry something to say, some meaning, and it's however you want to present that and say that, but the reason why we hold ourselves back from actually doing that is because we think there's a right way to do it, we think that we have to follow something And that if we don't do it the way that everybody else does it, we're going to get it wrong and it's not going to work, which is the willingness to fail.

Do you have the willingness to fail? [00:33:00] That's the question, because people, you know, owner of Spanx, James Dyson, like, they failed over and over and over again. They heard no, no, no, no. I think of like actors and actresses who go to auditions, right? Like how many auditions does an actor have to go to before getting the part?

You hear a lot of no's. You often hear a lot of frickin no's. Dance, dancers, right? Same thing. Artists, painters, who like present their art and people are like, Ew, I don't like that. Cool. It's a reflection of like, what was going through me. You know, you see a lot of art and you look at that art sometimes and you're like, What was that person thinking when they did that?

I would just love to know, which is why I love creativity and art and writing and all that. Cause I'm like, wow, that is so intriguing that that somebody had that vision or idea. When you actually look at, you know, even like something like Harry Potter, like that is [00:34:00] crazy that that's what came out of JK Rowling is like.

this story, you know, it's like, this is brilliant. Or, you know, uh, an exhibit that is like, so avant garde and different. And it's like, wow, like the imagination, the what came through you, like, I'm just in awe of that. Because One, I think they took the chance of doing it, but two, it just amazes me that that's what flowed through them and, um, that they were able to put it out into some form for people to enjoy.

And I think that that's a lot of entrepreneurship, to me, is that creativity and innovation and Yet, I believe in the coaching industry in space, we've gotten so far away from that because it is this like cookie cutter. Everybody's sort of doing the same thing. And when we talk about market saturation and all of that, I mean, that plays a huge factor when everyone's trying to do the same thing and learn the same process and model.

It's like, how do you [00:35:00] cut through the noise? You're your, how you're different, the way you show up differently, that, that is how you stand out. and it's going to all come down to belief. Do I believe in that crazy idea that dropped in while I was in the shower or driving the car or cooking? Do I want to trust that and do I have the freaking courage to do it?

Do I have the courage to get up and fail? Do I have the courage to go against what people say is going to work or works? So with that, I hope this episode has been inspirational, um, to inspire you to stop hanging your belief on somebody else is per projection limitation or stop hanging your belief on what you see working and not working in the industry that you are because you could create something that works better or more innovatively or more creatively.

So with that, I'm going to leave you and I hope you have a [00:36:00] fab day. Be sure to subscribe to the show so you don't miss when the next episode drops. Cheers! Thanks for listening. We'll see you right back here next time. You can also find us on social media at Creatively Owned and online at CreativelyOwned.

com. Until next time, keep showing up as your authentic self.