The Misconception About High-Pressured Sales Tactics

INTRO: After generating over a million dollars in sales and selling one of her businesses with a single email, your host, Kathryn Thompson, takes an unconventional approach to marketing and sales. So if you're ready to tap into a more powerful way to be seen, heard, and a sought after entrepreneur in your industry, without having to spend endless hours marketing your business and chasing clients, you're in the right place. Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast is here to help you ditch the cookie cutter, one size fits all approach to marketing and use your unique energy to effortlessly attract the most aligned clients. When you do this, you're You can spend less time marketing your business and more time doing your soul work and enjoying the richness of your life. Welcome to Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast. And here's your host, Kathryn Thompson. 

Kathryn Thompson: Hey, hey, welcome back to this week's episode. I cannot wait to dive [00:01:00] in because I want to talk about What really constitutes icky, pushy or high pressure sales tactics and also illuminate where we might have some beliefs around this that aren't 100 percent congruent and potentially where we might be leaking energy in our sales process because we're worried about.

You know, coming across as icky or pushy or too salesy or whatnot. And for those of you that don't know and have never heard me share this, when I first started my brick and mortar business, I was terrified to sell in that capacity. which is kind of interesting because I had spent 15 years in corporate.

I had to do a ton of proposals and a lot of sales in that role, but it felt different for some reason when I ditched that and opened my brick and mortar where I literally had to sell wine within the store to obviously create a successful business. And I remember thinking, you know, I'm really good at [00:02:00] having conversations and building relationships, but when it actually comes to sales, I find that I had this icky feeling within me of like, I didn't want to come across as icky or pushy or too salesy or anything like that, right?

And if you're listening to this, maybe you can resonate with that. So what ends up often happening when we don't want to come across as icky or salesy or pushy or anything like that is that we err on the side of caution. And I want to share with you a story. Because I want to illuminate where in my own business, my online business now where I was having a little bit of energy leak around my sales process because I was not wanting to come across as too pushy, salesy, or high pressured.

And a big part of the work that I do is teaching how not to go have high pressured sales tactics in your business. Bye. Again, as you err on the side of caution, it can be really easy to start [00:03:00] to allow your boundaries to sort of, um, elapse and become very wide open and therefore creating a lot of sort of energy leak within your business.

So I want to share a story with you about this and where I, as a business owner, really started to kind of shift and rethink how I do things. So And also that it's an ongoing process within my business. I'm constantly looking at, okay, where can I tighten some things up and where can I improve this? And where can I further honor myself, my work and what it is that I do?

And so I want to share a story with you that happened a few years ago, two years to be exact. Um, and of course I do sales calls. I've now hired a beautiful woman to support me in doing sales calls, but at the time it was just me doing it. And I had the sales call get booked in through my website and the person was wanting to inquire about me writing copy for her funnel and her launch and all of that jazz, right?

And so part of my [00:04:00] sales process is is that before you get on a call with me, I ask particular questions depending on the services that you're inquiring about so that I can get a sense before I ever get on a call with you. Whether or not you may or may not be a right fit. And I think sometimes when we are going into the sales process and we're creating it in our business, we want the sale for sure we do, right?

We want sales to come through our business, which oftentimes results in us accepting sales that may or may not be an aligned fit. So having some pre qualifying questions before you ever get on a call with somebody to me is really, really vital, right? And being able to honor and stand in those pre qualifying questions, especially when you get on a call.

And if you start to gauge that, you know, maybe somebody isn't the right fit to work with you at that moment. then being able to courageously say that in the moment. But I want to share what ended up happening on this call because I think it's going to be really beneficial for [00:05:00] you to see what I consider to be not high pressured, not icky and not pushy, but I could see how it might come across as that for some people who are doing sales calls or even just doing sales, right?

Is that, um, when we ask for what we want, sometimes, That can be a really difficult thing to do, especially if we are people pleasers, especially if we just want to be agreeable and say yes to everything, which is people pleasing. Um, and I am somebody who's really well aware of that, right? I've spent a lot of my life people pleasing and saying yes to things that maybe I didn't want to and whatnot.

But I've evolved and I've grown and all of those sorts of things and continue to do so, but two years ago I got on this call with this woman and anytime somebody is wanting to hire me to do copywriting for them, it's something that requires us to plan out whether or not I have the capacity for it or not.

Right? And so depending on when the person wants [00:06:00] to have this done and what their deadlines are and what they're working towards will depend on whether I have the capacity. And so I always start out my copywriting calls with people asking whether or not, and when, they're looking to have the project done.

And that was the first question. After, of course, I did some ice breaking, like, Hey, how are you? Where are you calling in from? Really excited to learn more about your business, yada, yada, yada. My first question was, so I know that you filled out in the intake form that you're looking for me to write copy for you for your upcoming launch.

Can you tell me when that is and when you're going to need the copy for that? That was the very first question. And the response I got was, And the response I got was, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't say that I wanted to work with you. I'm getting on this call to assess whether or not I want to work with you.

And why I find that [00:07:00] interesting is, is because I think as salespeople, We often go into the selling wanting to appease, wanting to come off looking our best, wanting not to ruffle feathers so that people say yes to the sale, right? We want to be agreeable in a lot of ways. But as a salesperson, as someone that's selling a service, you are equally going into that conversation assessing whether or not this person's going to be a good fit, just as they are doing, right?

So I found that response to the question very interesting. And so I responded saying, well, I totally understand. I'm not implying that we are going to work together, but I have a roster of people that I'm working with and I need to know when You need this done by, so I can tell you straight up right now in the first five minutes of this call, whether this is doable or not doable for me.

So it's not pushy to ask for what [00:08:00] you want. It's not pushy to get definitive with, Hey, what, what, what is the deadline around this? And if the person on the other end is getting resistant and a bit triggered by that definitive ask, they're probably not the right fit for you. Good. If that particular person can't see from both perspectives that, wait a minute, asking someone to write copy for me and build out my funnel, A, takes time, right?

And, and somebody that is expecting you to drop everything and just write it and build it for you on a whim and just be available if and when they need you, is probably not an ideal fit in my opinion, right? Because writing a full funnel and building out the funnel takes time. My projects are anywhere between three to six months to actually do the build out, right?

And so somebody coming into the call wanting this done in a week or [00:09:00] two is A, not the right fit for me, but B, isn't possible. It isn't possible, isn't feasible. And so what's interesting was, is that she was wanting to launch in under a month, and she was wanting a full build out of her funnel, and so she said, well, my launch is, at the end of this month, basically.

And it was at the beginning of the month or, yeah, basically the end of February, beginning of March when I had that call with her. And I said, well, typically my buildouts are three to six months because it includes me writing the copy, being part of the funnel buildout, and then also doing the optimization of it, right?

Because to me, that's what's of benefit, right? I can write copy for people all day long, but it's the optimization for me that produces the ROI. Now, the follow up question was when I said, well, you know what? I'm actually fully booked out at the moment, so I wouldn't be able to take on their project. She was like, okay, well, let me just see if I can like bump my launch and different things like that.

And I [00:10:00] said, yeah, absolutely. You can take a, take a look at that. But she said, well, what if you just wrote the copy for me and didn't do the optimization piece of it? And there's nothing wrong with asking somebody to do something, right? But again, I'm somebody who wanted to honor the work that I do and honor the delivery of it because I had been in positions before where I would write a sales page for somebody or I'd write emails for them.

And then months later, after their launch, they'd come back to me going, you know, that sales page didn't convert. And I'd say, well, okay, well, How did you promote it? What did the promotion look like? And they didn't really even do promotion, right? They popped the sales page up and talked about it a few times.

Well, of course it didn't convert, right? For me, having a successful business and creating an ROI on the work that you do and put out there, your marketing, really helped me. requires you to look at it from a holistic perspective and look at all of the variables. [00:11:00] And that for me is something I wholeheartedly believe in.

And so for me to sell a one off sales page to someone where I write the page and they're looking for that page to do all of the heavy lifting for them, we have a problem. Right? So I don't actually take projects on like that anymore because I learned my lesson, right? I learned my lesson. I'm writing the sales page and then they go away with that sales page and then don't promote the event really and then wonder why the sales page.

Well, the sales page was up on my website. Did you drive traffic to it? How much traffic did you drive to it? you know, what were you saying to drive the traffic there? I mean, I have so many questions when people say the thing isn't working. I have a hundred different questions that I ask people to sort of get to the root of why it isn't working.

And oftentimes it's not necessarily that the copy isn't really good copy, it's the fact that the marketing leading up to the sales page wasn't done very well, so to speak, and needs to be optimized for sure. And so I'm sharing this with you because I know that when we ask for [00:12:00] what we want, It can be difficult and, and I am somebody who's continually practicing this, like I am not perfect by any stretch, and I'm continually tightening, tightening up my boundaries.

And it's taken me many, many years in business to really get aware of where I need to tighten and where I have energy leaks happening, right? Um, and, um, You asking for what you want isn't pushy or icky. You asking for deadlines and a definitive yes or no is not pushy or icky, right? Because at the end of the day, having that sort of clear understanding expectations, all of that to me is just having really good boundaries about what you're available for and what you're not.

And you get to choose what you tolerate. right? You get to choose what you want and you don't want. You get to choose what projects you take on and you don't take on. But I understand when the sale is at sort of the helm of all of this, it's almost like we [00:13:00] just want to say yes to all of the sales. And I, again, know from experience in my early days of coaching where I would say yes to projects or people that I knew weren't aligned per se and learned that the hard way.

Learned that you know, while working with a person like, Oh man, I probably should have said no. Or I had sort of flags pop up, right? And one of the biggest flags for me now, especially when it comes to copy projects, is when somebody wants a full funnel build out and all of the copy written in a week or two.

Like, can we launch next week? That for me is a massive red flag. But another big red flag in the sales process for me that I really look for is whether or not it's a dual partnership. And by that I mean that there is a level of awareness that there's two people in a partnership, which means that it's not just based off of one person's wants and [00:14:00] needs.

So in a couple of years ago, I was working one to one with a client. And it was very much based on their time and their deadline and their, when they wanted it. So, for example, I would be getting messages in the evening or the weekend and if I didn't respond, it was like, where are you? Why haven't you responded?

Right? That, for me, is a big deal. big flag. And that happens more often than it doesn't, if I'm being honest with you. That happens, I'm, I'm surprised how often that happens, to be honest, of the expectation that if you're paying somebody that they're available for you all of the time. And I actually had to put in my contracts that I do not work evenings and weekends.

and actually had to put those in my proposals, which to me feels like a no brainer, right? Like to me, that just feels like respect in a lot of ways that, yeah, I don't want you working evenings and weekends, but it became such [00:15:00] an issue for me and my business, especially around copy projects where that sort of stuff started to happen, you know, where you'd be working with somebody on a Friday, let's just say, and they're handing you a bunch of things they want you to write about And then Monday morning, it's like, where are those things?

You know, I mean, that happened a lot in my business to a point that I've had to put some really strict boundaries around that and put that in contract and also put that in the pre contract stage of it, right? Like, you know, what does your workflow look like? What hours of the day do you typically work in?

These are questions I cross qualify with because I want to know what are their patterns? How do they work? How do they expect feedback? You know, how quickly do they get back to feedback? all of those sorts of things. Um, because I think sometimes, again, as somebody who is investing, and this to me feels like it's coming sort of from that, there's a righteousness there, right?

I'm investing in you, and I'm investing in support, [00:16:00] and therefore, you need to be available to me so that I can get all I need out of this investment, which is sort of a righteousness, but can be a little bit of lack. And the reason I'm sharing this with you, because again, I think as People in business, as we sell, we don't want to come across pushy, icky, or feel like we have this like high pressure sales tactics, and in reality, being really decisive about what you want and focused on what you want and what you are and aren't available for, and therefore then asking for that.

especially if you're having sales conversations and asking for deadlines and asking for a commitment is not being pushy, is not being pushy, right? Because if you're running a service based business, you have to know what you're committing to and what you're not committing to. Otherwise, you have no real sense of your time or your energy that you're putting in.

And you can therefore then agree to this person [00:17:00] who then doesn't really Maybe, you know, respond or doesn't get back to you right away or whatever. And then you've got other people in the wings that are doing sort of the same thing, and before you know it, you're sort of being pulled and being available at Beck and call to everybody and their way of being and whatnot.

So. I'm, I'm wanting, if anything, for you to sort of walk away from this episode with this notion of what I consider, again, it's my opinion, but also with the insight of what really is high pressured sales tactics. To me, high pressured sales tactics are Sales tactics is like not taking no for an answer, right?

And we've all been on those calls and not even just necessarily in the coaching industry, but we've all been on those. I don't know if you've ever been on a telephone one where you're like, no, I'm actually not interested in this credit card. And they're like, well, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they give you all these reasons why you should be like, they just don't take no for an answer.

That to me is high pressured, right? Asking somebody to make a decision on the call, yes or no, whether or [00:18:00] not they want to work with you, to me is not high pressured. That's just so that you and the person having that conversation have a definitive answer. So when you walk away, you're not sitting there having to wonder, like, are they going to buy?

Are they not Gonna buy. Right? I mean, if you want to allow that and do that, absolutely. But I'm just saying that it's not, that's not being pushy. Or if you're asking specifically like, okay, so you're interested in this, is this something you wanna move ahead with? And they're like, yes. And then you're like, okay, well when, and they can't give you a definitive answer on that.

Well, I don't really know. Like I'm not really in a rush that's not. Again, you asking for that and, and standing within that and saying, well, I actually need a definitive date because if I don't have a definitive date, then I'm, I can't say that I'm going to be available in two weeks for now, right? Because again, if you think about the energy behind that, if somebody isn't being definitive, if they're being wishy washy, if they're not giving you sort of that, that answer, you have to decide for yourself, [00:19:00] is that the type of energy that I want to be in, right?

So for me, I want to work with people who are committed to doing the work and committed to showing up, right? And who are committed to building and growing their business. And when they say yes, they mean yes. And when they say no, they mean no. And when they say yes and give their word, then they follow through on that word, right?

And, and same with no. But I think, again, And I know that I've done it where I've, I've sat in this sort of agreeable state going like, okay, you're not 100 percent certain, therefore, I'm just going to let you be at not 100 percent certain, but that's no benefit to me and my business, right? I am also of the mind that if people really want something, they'll do it.

And so I don't spend a lot of time convincing somebody if they are wishy washy about it. Right? I'm not spending a lot of time trying to convince them that they should say yes or they should decide no. Like, you know, I'm not, I'm not going to do that because I don't want to sort of live in that energy to me.

I [00:20:00] believe that when somebody is a hundred percent and they will say yes, and if they're not, then they'll say no without sort of the pressure and the pushing. So this is something to really kind of consider, because again, I go back to that, the story of that sales call where that. A particular individual is quite triggered being like, Hey, hey, hey.

I don't, you know, I didn't say I wanted to work with you. I'm just doing this call to get a sense if you're somebody I want to work with, right? Which. Right there in the conversation, in my opinion, puts me and that person in separation and sort of in a power imbalance. And I'm of the mind that if a partnership is going to work, and you're going to work together to be in co creation and thought partnership, that it has to be, there is no hierarchy.

It has to be equal. You have to come in with that sort of equal partnership and when I'm on sales calls, I'm looking for language, I'm looking for tone that will sort of trigger me going, [00:21:00] huh, this person isn't a right fit, even though they might be an established business owner, even though they're crushing it in their business, but if they're accusatory, if they're triggered by me asking for what I want, if they're wanting to put some sort of hierarchy like the powers in my hands, I get to decide.

If there is no awareness about time and the time it takes to actually do the work, or awareness around the other person that they have a life, they've got a business, right? And that giving them an answer is actually a sign of respect in my opinion. Having no answer and just not That is not following up or following through to me is not respectful.

So if someone's gonna spend the time with you on a call and spend that time, right, often here, like I do sales calls, Kathryn and they feel like such a waste of time cause I get on the call and they people don't make a decision, or they ghost me or whatever. I'm of the [00:22:00] mind that If somebody is going to take the time to get on a call with you that you show them the respect and you respond to them, especially if you've done multiple calls with them, right?

That's just my perspective. Um, everybody has their own perspective. Everybody has their own opinion. But again, this episode was about you sitting with yourself for a moment and asking yourself what you will and won't tolerate. And for me, I don't tolerate non response because to me that's just There's an avoidance there, right?

Like, I don't want to give the person the response, who am I to have to give the response? Like, again, there's a righteousness, there's sort of like a disrespect, in my opinion. Again, you might not agree with me, but if I'm going to be on a call with somebody and I'm inquiring about their services, I'm giving them a yes or a no.

And if I need to think about it for a few days, then I will walk away and think about it, but I will still follow up with a no if it's a no, or follow up with a yes if it's a yes. I don't just let people live in sort of limbo in my world. I respect [00:23:00] people enough to give them an answer, especially if they've taken the time to talk to me, right?

And this is me inquiring about their services, right? It's similar to going for a job interview, right? If you get called in for an interview. You get a response or at least every company I've ever applied to where I've gotten an interview. I'm not talking about application, right? If you if you're applying, it oftentimes says on the application, we are not responding to every applicant, letting them know whether they got it or didn't get it or whatever.

But if you go for an interview, every single interview I've ever gone to, gives the respect to the people, the applicants that gave their time to show up for the interview, a definitive answer, right? So you're not sitting there in limbo going, did I get the job? Did I not get the job? Oh, I see they posted that they hired somebody, you know, like that's not how it works, or at least in my world.

And maybe that's a standard that I've just learned to come to [00:24:00] really actually respect that if you're taking time and it goes both ways, vice versa, right? If you're getting on sales calls and you're inquiring about working with somebody, to me, it's respectful to provide them with a follow up or an answer in some way, shape, or form being like, you know what, this isn't for me, or I decided to go a different direction or whatever.

It's a, it's not a non response, because to me that's, that's actually disrespectful. It's, it's not showing respect to the person. And to me, if I'm working with somebody in any sort of capacity, and most of the capacities I work with people is quite intimate, I'm a thought partner in their business. And if there's even an inkling that there is a lack of respect or a hierarchy, like you're, I'm paying you so just do what I tell you to do, or I'm paying you so you better show up the way I want you to, I'm paying you so if I work weekends and evenings you should too, like that for me is there's a [00:25:00] righteousness there, right, and I'm just not available for it.

Um, And again, you get to decide in your business what you are and what you're not available for. And you get to stand in that when it comes to sales. And it doesn't mean that you're pushy or icky or high pressure because you're asking for what you want and you're asking for a definitive response by people.

That for me is just basic respect if it, if I'm going to be honest about that. Um, and I get, you know, I can get pretty passionate about this cause to me it's really important that. If you're in my world and you're listening to me speak that you understand where my standard lives, um, but also where my boundaries lie.

And for me, it's really about honoring that above everything. And again, I'm not perfect. There are times where energy leaks happen and boundaries slip and different things like that, but I'm not perfect. always looking to sort of re tighten up what it is that I do. And I know one of the things that I've contemplated recently was, you know, [00:26:00] whether or not I even still have residual when it comes to feeling icky, pushy or whatnot within my sales process.

Because when I had my brick and mortar, I was terrified of being a salesperson. And I remember, and I've shared this before that, you know, customers would say, you're so good at sales. And I remember feeling cringe on the inside. Like, That's not a compliment. And then when I got clear on why they were saying that, I was like, okay, I'll take that as a compliment because it was like, you're just passionate about what you do and you talk about it and all those sorts of things.

And so, um, I think again, it's, it's really important to just stand in your truth and your honor, your values and honor your boundaries and really ask for what you want and stand within that. And if that's challenged or people feel triggered by it, then they're likely not the right fit for you. Because like I said, you know, asking for what you want doesn't mean that you're being pushy or icky, even though even [00:27:00] though, you know, for many of us, we've been conditioned to not ask for what we want and just to be agreeable and to just go with the flow and go with, you know, what everybody's doing and say, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

And not honor our nose in a lot of ways. And so it's, it's, it's hard to get into this sales process where you have to ask for what you want and be, um, and stand in that, you know, because. The last thing many of us want is to come across as icky or pushy or even remotely high pressured. And I hope that this episode has shown you that asking for what you want is, is none of that.

And honoring your boundaries and knowing what you can and can't deliver. And standing in that, to me, is the utmost, uh, valuable thing that you can do in your business. So with that, I'm going to leave you, but I really hope that you have a fab day. And if any of this really resonates with you, pop over onto [00:28:00] Instagram and DM me.

I'd love to hear from you. Cheers. 

Thanks for listening. We'll see you right back here next time. You can also find us on social media at Creatively Owned and online at creativelyowned. com. Until next time, keep showing up as your authentic self.