The Potent Question, a Client, Recently Asked Me and How the Questions You Ask Can Change the Trajectory of Your Business

INTRO: After generating over a million dollars in sales and selling one of her businesses with a single email, your host, Kathryn Thompson, takes an unconventional approach to marketing and sales. So if you're ready to tap into a more powerful way to be seen, heard, and a sought after entrepreneur in your industry without having to spend endless hours marketing your business and chasing clients, you're in the right place. Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast is here to help you ditch the cookie cutter, one size fits all approach to marketing and use your unique energy to effortlessly attract the most aligned clients. When you do this, you're You can spend less time marketing your business and more time doing your soul work and enjoying the richness of your life. Welcome to Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast. And here's your host, Kathryn Thompson.

Kathryn Thompson: Hey, hey, super stoked that you're tuning in this week's episode. I cannot wait to dive in today's [00:01:00] topic because I want to share with you a really potent question that a client of mine was asking me. Recently asked me inside of spellbound on one of our group coaching calls.

And the reason why I wanna share this question with you is twofold. Number one is I want to share with you why asking really brilliant, potent questions will honestly change the quality of response that you get in return from a coach or a mentor. And also change the trajectory of maybe how you look at your business, how you're looking at the certain situation that you're in.

Um, and really. Transform the growth of your business in a lot of ways. And the second reason I want to share this with you is because I want to share the response and responses, because once this client asked me this question, then there were other people on the call that then followed up and asked me.

the questions as well. And I see a common pattern based on the response in this question, but also based on this question in general. When somebody [00:02:00] asked me this question, and honestly, in, after coaching hundreds and hundreds of women, I've never had anybody ask me this question in such a pointed, direct way.

And I want to share with you why this is important. But first, I want to share with you that the response to this type of question, um, I see a pattern across the board in a lot of ways based on the clients that I've coached and I've mentored over the years here. So the quality of the questions that you ask are really important.

So this is a question you could honestly take and start to ask your mentors or your coaches. But the more direct and, um, to the point your question is in a lot of ways, the more quality that you're going to get in response. For example, if you ask something like, I don't know how to do X, Y, and Z, or I don't even know how to do this, or, you know, I'm struggling with this, and you're kind of just pointing to the thing that you're struggling with versus asking a very potent question like the [00:03:00] one my client asked, which was, What are my blind spots?

You've been coaching me now for about a month. What would you say are my blind spots, or blind spot, or my biggest blind spot? And that is such a direct question. Potent question, because number one is the coach or the mentor that's receiving that can't, um, there's no BS or no fluff around it, right? I couldn't just respond and go, uh, ooh, uh, right?

I couldn't do that. I had to put, I had to directly respond to what it is that I was observing and what it is I was seeing. Seeing. Now, here's the thing, right? Somebody might say, well, why wouldn't you just tell them that anyways? Like, why wouldn't you just be forthcoming with telling somebody what their blind spots are?

Here's the thing, if you are being coached by somebody and you're asking for advice and whatnot, your coach is not a mind reader, right? For all I know, my clients might be well aware of their blind spots. They might be well aware of the things that are holding them back, and they're working through that.[00:04:00] 

A coaching relationship is a. Two Way Street. It's not up to the coach to be the person that's going to read everybody's mind, right? And tell everybody what to do and offer unsolicited advice, right? So the coach is there to respond to the questions, the feedback, what somebody may or may not need. And so that's why I come back to this whole question asking thing and getting really good at asking for what it is that you need or asking for what it is that you want, right?

Right? Which is a skill in and of itself. So sometimes I'll hear people say, you know, I didn't get, you know, the investment that I just made in a coach. It wasn't a right fit, or I didn't get what I needed out of it. And I love to unpack that. And again, not from a blaming perspective, but I love to unpack that.

Right? Because were you putting too much responsibility on the coach to mind read? Were you putting too much responsibility on the coach to fix what it is that you need help fixing or to solve that problem? Or were you looking at [00:05:00] it as a partnership and a two way street where it was like, I need to show up at the table and ask the questions I need to ask.

I'm not going to just sit in my house and. struggle my way through this and then get upset about it because the coach isn't somehow reading my mind and telling me what I need to do and not do on a, on a daily, right? Because a good coach is not going to offer unsolicited advice. I'm not going to sit there and tell my clients, do this, this, this, and this.

And they're like, I already tried that. Right. Okay. Right. It's, I also need to get curious about where they're at, what they're struggling with and that sort of thing. And so coaches also need to get really good at asking questions, right? It's a two-way street. The client and the coach need to get really good at asking questions.

So, when this particular client asked me this question, like I said, it was very direct, and it was, there was no BS, there was no fluff around it. Here's the thing that I also want to share, as I was getting asked that question, [00:06:00] I had no qualms, no issues with responding to that question. But if you have some people pleasing tendencies, sometimes this can be a really uncomfortable position to be in as a coach, right?

If you're sitting there and you're getting this direct question and someone's saying, what do you see as my blind spots? Sometimes this is not an easy response to give people, right? Because you're probably telling them, where they have a blind spot and where they aren't seeing where they might be sabotaging or, um, slowing their growth or whatever it is that they're struggling with, it can be a hard response to deliver.

So if you have people pleasing tendencies, which I used to, I was a chronic people pleaser, but it's something I've worked a lot on from my perspective that now when I get these types of questions, I have no problem answering them with full transparency and honesty. The other thing is, is that I am somebody who is a pretty much an open book.

So if you ask me anything, I'm going to give you an honest, [00:07:00] truthful answer. I've had people on sales calls literally be like, what are you spending on ads? And I'm like, this is what I'm spending on a, on a monthly basis. Right? To get this return. And so I have no problem answering honest, open questions.

It's just in a relationship, we need to be the one that's also asking the potent, potent, powerful questions. So this question, what is my blind spot or what are my blind spots? Is a really powerful question that you can turn around and ask your coach, your mentor, somebody that you're seeking advice from now.

I do want to preface that when you are asking questions like this, one, you've got to be prepared for the answer. Right? So if you're going to ask a question and you want somebody's truthful answer in return and in response, you've got to be open to receiving the response that they're going to share with you.

Because again, in this type of question, this isn't [00:08:00] necessarily an easy response that's going to be given, right? Someone's not asking like, Hey, what am I doing really well? And then we just like puff up their shoulders and their chest and they're like, here's all the things you're doing well. It's like, no, tell me what my blind spot is that's holding me back.

Uh, is a, is a tough response sometimes to hear. We have to be willing to receive it. So if you're not willing to receive the response, then asking that question might not be the right time to sort of ask it because what ends up often happening, obviously we get triggered We might rebel, we might throw our arms up in the air, that sort of thing.

However, that's also an indication of like, okay, what is it about this response that I'm not liking? What is it about this response I'm not willing to sort of look at and unpack right now? What is it about this response that I'm not willing to hear or I don't want to hear yet, right? So again, when I come back to that question, it's a very powerful, potent question.

It's specific and it's direct. [00:09:00] And there's no sort of beating around the bush. You can take this question and start to, and use that. But also start to think about some other potent, powerful questions that you can ask your coach, your mentor, to get the best out of the experience that you're in, um, and to change the trajectory of your business.

Here's another question that I think is really, really powerful is Now that you've coached me for X amount of time, what am I missing or not asking that you think I could be asking that would change the trajectory of my business? A really powerful question because it's kind of like the blind spots, but it's like, What questions am I not even asking that I'm not even aware of?

Cause that's something I often hear. I don't know what I don't know, so I don't know what to ask. Well then ask the question. Say that exactly. I don't know what to ask. Here's what I would start to think about. Here's what I would start to look at. Right? It's a really powerful question to ask a mentor. [00:10:00] Um, or are there things that I'm doing that could be simplified?

Or are there things that I'm doing that I could cut out some steps around this? That's another really powerful question that you can ask because oftentimes we like to add in more than make things more complicated, add in more steps than necessary, or we just don't know what we don't know because we've been taught a certain way.

So the whole essence of this, number one is I want to share what my response is because there's some patterns here that I see across the board. But the key thing here is that I would love for you to walk away with is some really potent, powerful questions that you can then turn around and ask your mentor, your coach, that sort of thing.

And again, the other thing I want to preface here is, is that one, are you, are you ready to receive the response that's on the other side of that question? And then two is. is the person you're asking somebody [00:11:00] that you value their response. So I often think about if I'm asking this question, if I went and asked, I don't know, my husband, what do you think my blind spots are?

Or if I asked my mom, what do you think my blind spots are? Right? Uh, when it comes to my business, that it's not that I don't value their insight or their input, but on this particular topic or subject, I don't think that they could provide me with a full picture or provide me with. Yeah, basically a full picture, whereas if I was turning around and asking like my mindset coach or my embodiment coach, Hey, what do you think some of my blind spots are?

And I've been working with them for months now, they would be able to sort of identify some of the patterns that are showing for me, let's just say. So again, I want you to consider, one, are you Willing and ready to receive the response. And what are you going to do with that response? And then two, who are you actually asking for that question to?

And do you value their perspective? And are they [00:12:00] able to give you a valued perspective based on what type of question you're asking and why you're asking them that question? So it's not just about asking any random person on the internet. Again, I do want to drill down a little bit on this because oftentimes I think We can even drop into somebody's DM, somebody that we look up to, and we love what they're doing and love the content they're putting out there.

And we can ask them a question about our business, our life, our relationships, whatever it is that we're looking and seeking for in some way, shape, or form. And I get these in the DM sometimes too, right? I get people asking me very specific questions about their business and what they should do. And I'm like, I don't know your business well enough to give you an answer Uh, uh, response that would be an integrity number one, because I don't know your business.

I would need to ask a bunch more questions to fully understand your business. So that's the, that's where I want you to consider this, right? It's not just about asking anybody on the internet or asking random people [00:13:00] questions. It's about really understanding who can give you the best response. And honestly, somebody in your DMs, if you're asking somebody a question about your business in the DMs, And you're expecting some type of response that's going to change the direction of your business in a lot of ways, that's going to be few and far between, but it's also not really an integrity, right?

So for example, if somebody said to me, this is what I'm doing, I'm having trouble selling my offer, and I don't know what to do. And this is what I've tried, like, what would you suggest? I mean, I have, I would need to ask a bunch more questions in order for me to give you sound, solid advice, right? Because that to me is very vague.

My offer isn't selling, I've tried these things, now what? Right? Because I, I actually don't, I need to see the full picture in order for me to give you some type of decent response. Now, if you were asking me like, how do you um, Post on social media. What, what things do you do to post on social media? Like what softwares or apps or whatever do you use?

I mean, that's a very direct question that I can offer, but I'm [00:14:00] talking about deeply transformational questions here. I'm not talking about like basic questions like what app do you use to schedule your post or what email software do you use? Like all of that stuff. That's not what I'm, that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about deeply transformational questions that can change the trajectory of your business. And the question of my client asks, what are my blind spots? Or what's my blind spot is a deeply transformational question. Because if you understand your blind spots, if you're aware of them, then then you have the power and choice to change them.

So that question is powerful. So, and again, the other thing is, is that our blind spots can shift and change depending on where we're at, right? And what level we're at and what we're moving towards. New level, new devil is what a coach told me years ago, right? You get to this new level of growth, of success, of wealth, of transformation.

There's going to be new things that sort of appear that we are not aware of, right? Because they're blind spots that start to come up as a result of [00:15:00] that transformation, that growth, that expansion, whatever you want to call it. So this isn't like, I asked this one question, I get the answer to what my blind spots are, and I'm, life is, you know, all peachy keen from here.

It's gonna take you asking that question Over and over. So put this in your back pocket and you can ask your coaches and your mentors this question on your group coaching calls, one to one calls, um, whoever you're seeking support from. So overcomplicating your customer buying journey. is a pattern and a blind spot that I often see.

How can you simplify, how can you streamline, and how can you make it really easy for someone to go, I opted into this thing, I know what I'm getting, and guide them to that offer in a, in a streamlined way. Without all of the other ideas being thrown at them and trusting that the offer that you're guiding them to is the thing that they want.

Because again, another thing that I often see is when we've got multiple offer suites [00:16:00] or we've got this massive email list. We've got an email list of people that have opted in from all these different pathways. And then we're trying to sell them on the offers that probably aren't aligned with them because they opted in for this other offer.

completely different freebie, or they opted into this completely different funnel that was leading them to a totally different offer. And I've seen that. Again, it's overcomplication. How can you simplify it? And how can you simplify the pathway that makes the person able to self navigate in a really easy way?

And that's the other big piece of this, is if we're working with empowered buyers, empowered buyers will self navigate. So, simplifying. Simplifying what it is you're doing. Less is more, is what I often say. And really making that a really simple pathway that somebody can take. And I've just outlined what mine looks like.

And to me, it's not complicated. Complication to me is, like I said, live launching, coming up with new [00:17:00] live events, all of those sorts of things. The other, uh, response I gave to a client of mine was, um, because she asked the same question around what my blind spot was, and that was distraction and focus. So, oftentimes we can get pulled off center or get distracted with what it is that we want, um, and get distracted with the path that we're taking.

Shiny object syndrome is a big one. It could be right, or it could be that something isn't working as fast as we want. It feels harder than we want. And so we look for and seek alternative methods. And that can happen very, very quickly. And I think about this beautiful post I recently saw, and it was a visual.

Um, and I love when people can like communicate using very simple like imagery, but it was a post that had a bunch of like stick men on it. And it was like entrepreneurs excited, uh, for their first year of business or something like that. It was like all these different stick men. [00:18:00] And then when you swiped over, it was like things got hard and then it was like less stick men.

And then you swiped over and it was like, uh, not getting results quick enough. And there was less stick men. And then at the very end, after five slides or six slides or something, it was like, there Getting the results they wanted and there was one stick man left. And to me, that is the epitome of distraction, shiny object syndrome, that we never really give ourselves time to allow the thing that we're building to actually work and work in the way that we want And this to me is often grounded in what I call the not enoughness, and that's the core wound that I see is not enoughness, and it's something that I've experienced, it's something that I work with all the time because it is one of my core wounds is this not enoughness, I'm not measuring up, um, I'm not doing good enough, you know, and when we have the data, we can use the data in a lot of ways to help us make informed decisions that [00:19:00] is not an emotional decision, is not like being driven by that core wound of not enoughness, because oftentimes when we think, oh, I'm not getting the results quick enough, I need to try something different.

And we go off and try something different. Or, um, I'm not, uh, I'm not seeing results quick enough or, or I got results, but they weren't enough, right? I see that a lot. The results weren't enough, even though when you look at the data and you look at the results, they're phenomenal. And now it's a matter of just scaling.

It's not, it wasn't enough. And so they go back to the drawing board and scratch it. And I see this so prevalently and it's heartbreaking because at the end of the day, it's, you know, I can't manage. I'm not responsible for people's journeys, right? I can offer perspective and I can share perspective like I'm doing right now, but at the end of the day, the responsibility lies on the person.

It's their journey and the journey they need to take. And so I am sharing this with you because I'm [00:20:00] hoping that on the other end of this podcast, you can receive this message and be able to sort of identify and see some of the patterns that might be coming up and creeping up in your world. So overcomplicating, not complicating.

allowing yourself to it for it to be simple. Distractions, right? Which is, um, trying things, not allowing things to actually really work and allow things to be amazing because they're never quite good enough. And then the big other big third one is tied to sort of that not enoughness is allowing our emotion and a lot of ways to dictate and govern our business.

And I'm not saying that we don't want to feel and I'm not saying that we don't want to feel, Follow What That Is, But Oftentimes Our Thoughts Well, Not Often Our Thoughts Create Our Emotion, Right? So If Our Brain Is Going, That's Not Good Enough, That You Need More. This Isn't Working Anymore. Things Are, You Know, Slowing Down.

Then That's Gonna Create Some Type Of Emotion Within Your Body [00:21:00] That Then Is Going To Likely Dictate Your Actions and your behavior as a result of that. And I want to share with you one that sort of recently come up for me is it's hilarious because there was this feeling that came up was like, Oh, things feel slow right now.

Things feel like they've slowed down right now. And when I looked at my data, my data has actually, you know, doubled from November in terms of like calls getting booked in terms of clients coming in. It's just insane how your brain will tell you this fricking story. That will then create an emotion that will then potentially create action.

And so the action that I would have taken five years ago would have been to go change my ads, maybe turn them off, lower the ad spend, all the things. When in reality, what I need to be doing is actually increasing ad spend to attract more people and to scale. But I wouldn't have done that five years ago because I would have been playing off my emotion of like, Oh, it's not working anymore.

That's your brain. It's [00:22:00] getting really, really clear about what that story is that's going on in that brain of yours and how that's impacting your decision. So those are three really key patterns I see. There's others that I'll share, but I wanted to share, like I said, this potent question, and then the potent response, and then give you some of that perspective, so that you can start to maybe identify within you what's happening.

But just to sum it up, it's over complicating things. Things can be really simple. You can create automation, you can create simple pathways, um, and it doesn't have to be complicated, right? And the other one is distraction and lack of focus. Like, getting really distracted, they go hand in hand, is getting distracted because you don't think things are working quick enough.

You don't think you're getting the results that you want. You don't think that, um, you see somebody else doing something else that seems to be working and so that might be working better. It's this distraction. So, can you stick with things long enough for them to get good? And that's [00:23:00] I want you to keep that visual that I just shared with the stick men, right?

Of like over time, how more and more entrepreneurs drop off. And it's for these reasons in a lot of ways. And then the other one is, is getting really, really pay attention to those, those thoughts that come in and the stories that you're telling yourself. And if in doubt, go back to the data. And if you're not tracking your data, I highly recommend you start because that will start to tell the story for you when your mind and your emotions are start to run amok.

So with that, I'm going to leave you. I hope this episode has been amazing and I cannot wait for next week. So tune in and subscribe to the show so you don't miss when it drops. Cheers. Thanks for listening. We'll see you right back here next time. You can also find us on social media at Creatively Owned and online at creativelyowned.

com. Until next time, keep showing up as your authentic self. [00:24:00] Transcribed